When to Give the “Masturbation Talk”

Hey guys, Jill here once again, giving you the female perspective on something that we all do, we all love, and we all can’t live without. No, I’m not talking about eating, I’m talking about masturbation. Heck, let’s just get this out in the open, most of us who are married still take some time out to have a little autoeroticism in the bedroom, or wherever else it is that we happen to like a little private masturbation time to ourselves.

And fellas, this does not just apply to the men.  Let me assure you, we women still like to masturbate as well, even when we do have partners,  we just might be a little more discreet and a little less forthcoming about it to our partners and our friends during sex discussions.

The reason I’m writing this right now is because, as I was thinking about what would be a good time to run off and pleasure myself the other day, I thought of how long I’d been doing it without even knowing what it was for sure.  I remember that when I started to have sexual urges, before I even totally hit puberty – I mean, we’re talking pretty young here, like before the age of 11, I started experimenting with touching myself down there.

Not only that, I experimented with some boys as well, although what we engaged in was really nothing but a little bit of touching and rubbing, nothing serious at all, and no clothes came off at all either.  I guess you could call it “playing doctor”.

I remember asking my parents about these feelings, because I felt overhwhelmingly guilty about it, and one of my parents, whom I shall not name, completely shut me down, they did not want to talk about it at all, and I actually found that devastating, like I really had done something wrong and filthy and shameful and dirty.  This really carried with me for a long time, and I thought about how parents really should sit their kids down, whether they are  boys or girls, and tell them all about how sexual feelings are normal.

In my opinion, this should be done sooner than later. I don’t think that some parents realize how early on girls start having sexual urges because well, they’re girls and society just isn’t molded to think that way.  If I would have been sat down and told what behavior was appropriate and not appropriate, or what was normal to feel, I would have felt a little better about my urges and not felt so guilty and ashamed.

I think that a lot of adults today still have guilt and shame feelings about masturbating, but it really is a natural, healthy expression of sexual urges, and shouldn’t be as taboo as it is, after all, it’s a lot better than sleeping around and putting yourself at risk for STD’s and pregnancy!

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About Jill L

Jill Lawson has a background in marital counseling and general therapy and self improvement and now enjoys helping others with relationship advice as well as sexual advice. She lives in Long Island with her husband, 2 children and three dogs.

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