Marriage Still an Insitution?

We have a wedding this weekend, which got me thinking.  Is marriage the same instituation that it was, say, fifty years ago, a hundred years ago?  The idea is still supposed to be same, “til death do us part”, but the divorce rate says otherwise, and the idea that marriages these days seem almost disposable kind of disgraces the institution, but hey, we would rather be able to get out of a marriage that turned sour and makes us miserable, rather than staying in something that is not right, or that is actually bad for our mental health.  Divorce can be a good thing, but in my opinion, people jump into marriages these days without really considering the give and take, the sacrifice, and the patience that goes into it when you really truly and deeply love someone and are in it til the “end”.

Another thing that got me thinking about marriage is the fact that a dear family member of mine is dying right now, of prostate cancer.  Just seeing what this terrible disease has done to his body and mind is disheartening, but his girlfriend of several years, mind you they never got married, has been taking care of him right up until the end.  And it hasn’t been easy.  Sure, they’ve had their ups and downs over the years, but what struck me is that she said it’s really shown her what love is.

Marriage is still an institution that a lot of people believe in according to polls, and according the statistics that say that almost 86% of women marry by the time they are forty years old, women still believe that getting married is the right thing for them.  However, this paradigm that women need to get married for security or to avoid “old maid” status is really shifting, and especially with Hollywood being somewhat of a bellwether for the rest of the world, many women are staying single for as long as they can, enjoying indepdendence and freedom before starting a family or a life with a husband.

Sex hasn’t really altered the status of marriage as a desirable institution.  Although our sex lives have become more open and less inhibited, marriage still continues to be a tradition, and with that monogomy follows suit, at least for most people we hope.  Sexual boredom doesn’t have to be a reality in marriage.  Of course, the occasional lull in sexual activity is to be expected in any marriage or relationship, after all, we are all not just sexual nonstop energetic robots. We’re people, and we get turned on and off by certain things, and this changes over time.