Apr 10
1
Havings Kids and Your Sex Life : How Do They Mesh?
My wife and I have decided that we most likely will not have children. We are both in our thirties, and we made this decision a while ago. It’s not that we don’t like kids, in fact, I quite enjoy being around them and I love the ones that are part of my family. I just am not sure because I am a big enough person to admit that there are so many other things in my life that I want to pursue, and I just don’ t know that I could put the right amount of time in with a child to provide a stable, loving and attention drenched life for a child.
Some people look at you like you’re crazy when you say you may not have kids, and my wife gets it a lot worse than I. You wouldn’t think people would ask you about it all the time but they do. I can’t blame them really, they’re just curious. But you also get the ultra judgmental looks and quizzical questions when you say it sometimes too, so we’ve reduced it to only mentioning our feelings if we are specifically pressed.
I think that a lot of people have the misconception that not wanting children makes you selfish, and it’s quite the opposite. I don’t want to have children for selfish reasons, and my biggest reason now would be that I would want someone around when I get older and my family was dying around me.
I also feel personally like in our marriage, kids would put a severe strain on us. I would probably constantly piss my wife off by not doing enough in her eyes, and she even admits this, so we both feel like it wouldn’t be worth giving up our current freewheeling lifestyle (ok, so that does sound s bit selfish).
We also do enjoy having sex whenever we want to. Not that we “do it” all the time now, but it’s nice to have the energy to do it and not feel like you’re being rushed. It’s nice to kind of dote on one another, and I feel like having kids for us would leave a lot of room for us ignoring eachother. I think it’s great the people who can have kids and still keep a healthy, strong and happy marriage, I just don’t think it’s the ideal situation for everyone.
