Well, a study has been done to help determine what the common denominators are in relationships that do and do not last, and why they do or do not last.  And guess what?  One of them is actually not the frequency or quality of sex, although that is not what this study focused on, nor did it focus on love.  It mostly focused on random and external factors such as finances, smoking habits, kids, previous marriages and relationship experiences, and things like that.  So, although you know we’re big advocates of great sex at any age with your partner, that’s not really what came out of this study.

One of the factors that increased the likelihood that partners would divorce or separates was whether this was their second marriage or not.  If it was more than one for one partner, the likelihood of divorce was greater.  Also, the age of the male in the relationship seems to work in both ways.  If a guy is older by his spouse by nine years or more, relationships tend to fizzle more easily.  Conversely, if a guy marries before he turns 25 (which I personally think is too young for men, but that’s just my opinion, some men actually are emotionally mature enough to marry by that age), the relationship is less likely to end happily.

Another factor, believe it or not, was whether one partner smoked and the other did not.  Divorce and separation were more likely in marriages where one spouse was a cigarette smoker and the other was not.  I totally get this, because my parents fought tooth and nail about my mom’s smoking habit. My dad was never a smoker, and he couldn’t understand how my mom had the habit which he thought was dirty. Although there were tons of other reasons why that particular marriage went up in smoke (no pun intended), but they did end the marriage in divorce after almost twenty years of matrimony.

Finances are a factor, of course, which is something we all pretty much know already.  We’d like to believe that marriages built on a strong foundation of love are made to last and nothing can get in the way of that, but the sad truth is that finance burdens are one of the number one arguments and points of contention in households across the US.  Especially when the husband is unemployed, and the wife is working.  So, right now with economy the way it is, there has got to be long lines at the marriage counselor’s doors.

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Posted in Here Nor There by David L No Comments Yet