Apr 09
17
Do Kids Ruin Marital Happiness?
Guest writer : Kate (Code name, anonymous female writer, for a change of pace and perspective around here)
I recently read an interesting bit about how kids actually can make many married couples less happy in their marriage. So, those pictures of the white picket fence, the dog, and the two children and squeaky clean house with contentment and happiness written allover it were dashed. Well, not really, I’m embellishing. I’m 34 years old, so many of my girlfriends have already ventured into the motherhood thing.
While they love their children, I can’t help but notice that they constantly ask me what it’s like to not have kids and to have time for myself. I also get a lot of questions about what it’s like to actually have a clean house that’s not full of toys and kids running around. I read that bit about how more people who have children report lower marital happiness, so that kind of strengthens my stance on kids and marriage, which isn’t a good thing for a person on the fence about having children in the first place.
I never know how to answer this, because this is all I have ever known, and quite frankly, my live in partner boyfriend and I are in no hurry to change things. We’ve seen adorable kids and babies, and I think I’ve definitely had that longing in me, as most women tend to, to have one some day, however, when I use my pragmatic senses, something tells me that I can fulfill those needs and wants without actually having a child of my own, and instead spreading myself around to the kids that are my friends and relatives, enjoying their company and the fun that goes with watching kids grow up, but while still being able to go home to no children, and having the time to fulfill my professional and career goals and my many desires to do things like travel and venture into philanthropy some day.
You see, I have a very full plate as it is. Not only do I have a full time job on the weekdays, but I also run a full time business in my “off time”. I try to imagine what it would be like, my patrtner and I running around after a child and trying to do all the other things we like to do, including having the occasional wild romp in bed without a care of who’s around or what might be heard, and I just can’t picture it. Not now anyways.
I do think that our relationship would certainly suffer. I mean, if we argue now about household chores, responsibilities and commitments, then those arguments would surely escalate, along with resentment, with the introduction of the biggest responsibility of all – a child. So, while I absolutely love babies and I really like and enjoy kids, I’m not seeing them in my future quite yet, and I like things the way they are now.
