Relationships

Fred Thompson Makes Remark About Jobless Men, Domestic Abuse

The actor/politician Fred Thompson made what can definitely be construed as some pretty controversial statements (I think I even read that he tweeted about it, who knew he was so hip, I don’t even tweet), about how the economy being in the toilet is going to increase domestic abuse cases. His reasoning is that jobless men often become abusive. My, that’s an awfully broad statement Fred!

Of course, I’ll acknowledge that the economy and the huge amount of jobless people and pay-reduced people is probably causing some definite marital and relationship strife, since many times couples argue about money, no shock there, but do you think it actually increases domestic abuse occurrences as well? I’m not sure, there could be some sort of correlation, but it also sounds like a bit of a stretch.

What I really want to know is, are there actual numbers and statistics that are supporting this type of statement? I’d be very interested to see it, because it’s just another reason why we need to get the economy fixed. Of course, they say that finances often split people apart, but there is the other argument (let me play devil’s advocate here), that people stay together for financial reasons as well.

Look at our society today. Most couples cannot live on one single income any more like it used to be. Most families has working moms and working dads, unless they just make due with one smaller salary, or one partner actually makes a ton of money at their job.

Also, divorce is very costly. You often have to split your assets, you lose your tax benefits of being married, and you essentially lose a room mate with whom to share your living expenses. Romantic, huh? But it’s the truth. Men and women alike suffer financially in a divorce situation. What I do want to know, is there anything to this domestic abuse rising claim due to the economy?

Will Infidelities Ruin Tiger’s Marriage?

Infidelity is a really difficult thing for any marriage to over come. Multiple, serial cheating is quite another, and often times marriages that have suffered this do not last unless both partners, especially the cheating one, are totally committed and genuinely love their spouse but have some sort of a problem with self control. In the case, of Tiger Woods, I can tell you that any woman who has been reading about this the whole time, well, it pretty much makes her want to throw up – on Tiger.

Here he is, he’s blessed with this awesome talent to play golf, he’s got millions and millions of dollars in endorsements because the world perceives him as this nice, stable family guy type, and because his endorsers know that and they want to capitalize on that, he’s got a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children. And yet, he still needs MORE. And by more, I mean more women, more kinky sex, and more risky behavior.

As the plot thickened and more and more women came forward, it became painfully apparent that Tiger Woods is quite a sick individual that needs help and spiritual guidance if he is going to, or even cares to, save his family. Many of the women have come forward and they are porn stars, or used to be paid for sex, things like that, so he wasn’t even having a discreet affair with women who usually don’t do this kind of stuff, he was engaging in risky behavior.

One of them I think now is even saying that she got pregnant twice from her affair with Woods, so sad to say, he probably wasn’t even using protection and has put his wife at risk as well. That’s just disgusting. I think, like most other self respecting women, his wife is probably thoroughly disgusted with his actions, and I honestly don’t know if such a high profile, obviously embarrassing and hurtful thing he’s done to her can ever be repaired.

Even if they did stay together, I doubt she could ever trust him again, and what kind of life does this make for them and their children? This is truly a huge obstacle if they want to stay together, so we’ll see what happens, but his wife’s absence from being seen with him or in support of him is definitely a sign that she may be telling him to hit the road. And who could blame her?

Urine as a Pheromone Cologne? What?

I flip radio stations in the morning constantly. I’m between WNPR listening to the news, and when I get bored with that, I flip to other radio morning shows or a few other stations that actually play – omg, music(!) in the morning. I was flipping stations when I landed on one radio morning program that I try not to listen to because quite frankly it gets on my nerves sometimes, but occasionally they bring up an interesting topic and I find myself listening to them opine about it.

This topic was so odd that I had to keep listening. They were talking about how they heard that if you put a little bit of your own urine – yes, your own pee, on your neck or other pulse points where you would normally apply cologne to, it actually acts as a pheromone “cologne” to attract women.

Why would your own body waste act as a pheromone? Well, supposedly, and this is a very dubious claim if you ask me, pheromones are secreted in your urine, and by applying it to yourself topically, you can benefit from the additional mojo that you’re putting off by emitting more of these attraction hormones to the world. Sounds kinda like hooey to me, so I went out and tried to do a little research, or what little research there might be, so that just in case any of you might be willing to dab a little bit of your own excrement on, you could know if there was anything to this theory.

While it is true that SOME pheromones may be excreted via the urine in humans, it is mostly secreted in the urine of other mammals, think dogs, primates, etc. Humans differ a little, in that their pheromones which help to express the desire to copulate to the opposite of sex, and serve as a means to further the human race from a biological evolutionary standpoint, are mostly expressed from their skin.

Mainly, you express a lot of pheromones from your underarms, through your sweat, so if you want to benefit from the natural pheromones you produce, maybe switch to a natural deodorant so it doesn’t mask your natural scent as much, instead of smearing your own pee on yourself!

Symptoms of Love : Part 2

The reasons behind these feelings are all chemical in nature, and they do tend to dissipate with time if you stay with said lover just because you do get used to them.  However, what I’ve found is true is that an unrequited love, one that you were not with all that long but had intense feelings of attraction to, but never got to really know, you do tend to have those feelings around those people, usually because the relationship was never fully “consummated” with getting to know eachother or spending a lot of time together.

The euphoric feelings are most likely due to dopamine and norepinephrine and adrenaline, all of which create feelings of “rush” and excitement that are truly intoxicating.  This is what young love is often like, and intense physical attraction to someone. It also probably has something to do with pheromones, and that deeper level of attraction that you have with someone where your bodies are just chemically meant to mate.

Norepinephrine is actually a stress hormone, but it releases when the stress is good or bad, and it does still also create an adrenaline rush that can be construed as good or bad. Have you ever had a person affect you that way? Where you feel both like you’re going to throw up but also exhilarated, where you feel like you could run a marathon at that moment. You become totally tongue tied and every semblance of your former rational, logical self disappears?

This is all intense physical, and maybe even emotional, attraction, at work.  I’m sure you’ve all felt these feelings before, and they brought you some degree of not only pleasure, but also of excitement, that’s what love and attraction is all about, it’s amazing how powerful a drug love can be, isn’t it?  It’s the reason so much time is devoted to talking about sex, improving sex, and devoting a lot of energy to it. We are, after all, extremely cognitive, sexual creatures, we humans!

Symptoms of Love : part 1

Ahh, love is in the air. It’s still the month of February, when our holiday du jour for lovers, well, one of them, not that other, Hallmark holiday called Sweetest Day that’s somewhat of a crock if you ask me, I’m talking about St. Valentines Day, happens. We read all about love in this month. The news is peppered with romantic stories, ideas of what to get your loved one for the holiday, advertisements about different gifts ranging from flowers to chocolates to erotic lingerie and sex toys. And, naturally, you start to think about love.

It got me thinking about the symptoms of love. You know, you’ve all felt them when you first start to fall in love with someone. Of course, the intensity of these feelings does not last forever, and they do tend to go the way of the dodo bird after about one year according to most scientific studies, but the euphoria and feelings of utter and total bliss are real and true, and you’d better enjoy them while they last at such a high intensity!

We all have heard the typical cliches about falling in love and the physical feelings and side effects that go with this natural occurrence in life. The weak knees, the butterflies in your stomach every time you see them or hear their voice, the racing of your heart at the their touch, the dryness of your mouth as you speak out of nervousness and ruining a perfectly perfect  moment, the chills that run down your spine when they touch you with even the lightest touch, it’s like something out of a romance novel.

And there is a reason for it. It’s very appealing, and it’s the closest thing to pure, unadulterated, and unaided bliss that we feel in our adult lives without the help of drugs.  That’s why love can be so addicting, and even if you know someone is bad for you in the long run, someone that gives you those types of feelings can be so difficult to give up on.

Jenny Sanford’s Memoir Out

The wife of South Carolina (or shall I say soon to be ex wife) governor Mark Sanford, has written a memoir, hotly anticipated for the light it might shed on the intimate details of what now is proving to be a troubled marriage between her and Mark Sanford. One that was rife with an affair, and which she also says she saw clues along the way that her husband might turn out to be a total cad, which oh yeah, he did end up becoming in the end.

She has opened up a little about certain things about their marriage leading up to the ultimate betrayal when he cheated on her with a  woman from Argentina.  The real kicker is that he told her and his staff that he was “hiking” on the Appalachian trail. This would later become a euphamism for having sex.  Mr. Sanford definitely let his wife down when he lied about where he was even to her, but she had hoped that he was truly there, she said, doing some soul searching about the adultery he had committed.

Apparently the SOB even had the audacity to ask his wife if he could visit his mistress in the months leading up to his “appalachian hike”, but she adamantly denied his requests, saying that because she had forgiven his adultery, that did not mean that she would actually condone it continuing.  Sheesh , I gotta tell you, I’m sure Jenny isn’t perfect either, I mean who is, but reading some of the things she has put in her memoir really make you want to throw up about Mr. Sanford.

He seems like a major cad, and one wonders how capable he is of serving his people when he can’t even tell the truth about where he was.  It sounds like her memoirs will be a very interesting read, if nothing else. I feel sorry for her, and it makes me dislike him even more.

Men Can Learn from Women Scorned Stories!

Boy oh boy, that dude that made up with his wife sure did piss off his mistress!  You probably read the story, it was on pretty much every major news outlet, since the guy is a head honcho over at Oracle, one of the biggest software companies in Silicone valley, and also happens to be an advisor to the Obama administration as well.  If you haven’t read about the story yet, here it is, and lesson be learned to all men who lead ladies to believe something else or happen to break up with them the wrong way, especially ladies who believe in revenge and vengefulness, you gotta watch out for people like that in your life, actually no matter what sex you’re talking about.

Now, I’m not trying to be chauvenistic here, we all know that men can be just as vindictive as women when they feel they’ve been wronged by the opposite sex, but you have to be particularly careful in how you deal with ending things with partners, especially if they seem particularly hurt or have expressed that you’ve given them mixed signals.

That’s exactly what it sounds like happened to the Oracle guy. Apparently he had a years-long affair with a woman, and yes, he is married and has a child with his wife.  The mistress found out that he had reconciled with his wife, and to get back at him, she posted billboards in major cities of the two of them in a sort of nuzzling, affectionate position that was clear they were more than just friends.

The man has come out and acknowledged the affair, but says that the two ended the affair on amicable terms and will remain friends. Sounds like someone is in denial about how this relationship ended, and it may not the be one who went off and did the crazy ex thing of posting billboards!  Relationships and love are funny, but when people get hurts it’s really not, and it can turn ugly fast.

Naughty Gifts Go Over?

Have you ever thought that a little funny, yet somewhat serious gift that illicited not only a laugh but perhaps a bit of a blush and an “are you serious or not” look, would really spice up your relationship with your sexual partner?  Well, you may be right.  Naughty gifts aren’t just gags any more, they are the doorway to a healthy, fun and playful sexual relationship that lets your partner know you are still willing to please them by stepping outside of the box you’re used to living within when it comes to your sexual history, preferences and walls you’ve put up over your life ot guard against things you thought you just couldn’t or shouldn’t do.

What made me think of writing about this somewhat cliche idea of naughty gift giving between couples old and new was hearing about the newer tv series that is about what the typical American families have evolved to over the years. They portray different types of families, like with a gay couple who has a child, a couple who is comprised of a younger women and older man, and the typical, nuclear American family that is comprised of a man and woman and two kids.  I’ve only seen it briefly, but some people at our work holiday part were talking about one episode where the man’s wife gives him certificates that are for free hugs.

Of course, a typical dirty minded man thinks this would be about the most boring “naughty” gift ever, and he pretty much says so.  Let’s face it, most men would prefer a free gift book of certificates for things that go by the initials “BJ” if you know what I mean – now that type of booklet would really put a smile on any redblooded man’s face!

At any rate, it got me thinking about what some of the better naughty gifts are that I’ve heard of over the years, and I thought I’d list them out here.

1.)  Fleshlight. This is basically something that she can use on you, and you can use on yourself.  It feel a lot like a certain part of the female anatomy and is a bestseller I’ve heard.

2.) His and her porn DVD’s.  Trust me, lots of girls like to watch porn too, and they get just as turned on by it as you. Try buying one that appeals to both men and women for maximum excitement for the both of you.

3.)  A sexy outfit made of pleather or PVC.  Most men love this on women – it’s the naughty factor multiplied by ten. Be a dominatrix, he’ll love it!

Why Do Men (and Women) Cheat?

As a woman, I’ve often wonder what exactly makes men cheat on their wives. I think especially of men in high positions or in the public spotlight who seemingly have it all.  Of course, the most recent case I’m speaking of is Tiger Woods and his (most likely) alleged affair or affairs, cheating on his gorgeous wife Elin.  But it doesn’t end with Tiger.

The list of powerful or celebrity men who have scads of money, a beautiful house and wife and kids, and just a lot of “stuff”, both material and immaterial, goes on and on.  And yet, there they find themselves with a justifiably angry wife and a smashed window, and a veritable publicity nightmare. And they deserve it.  Why did they cheat in the first place?

They should know that they are high profile people and the odds of getting caught are much higher, and they also have a lot of public opinion that can go bad and a lot of endorsements they can lose. Not to mention the self respect they lose from both men and women who may have looked at them as positive role models for their kids, or heck, for themselves.

I’ve heard a lot of reasons on why both men and women cheat on their spouses.  It ranges everything from sexual dissatisfaction and boredom, to overall lack of interest in the marriage and the person. Problems in the marriage and lack of communication is often cited, and often there is also an issue where the spouse who cheats feels unappreciated, unnoticed, and generally taken for granted. Many times spouses say that they still love their spouse, they just wanted to feel that excitement and newness, that they were seduced, or that they simply felt that their spouse did not appreciate them any more.

Sorry, but all these reasons really suck, especially if you genuinely still love and respect your spouse. I understand that there are cases where people fall out of love, and to a certain extent I do believe that all is fair in love and war. But let’s face it, the majority of affairs have less to do with “love” than they do with lust and instant gratification and some sort of displaced sense of satisfaction and appreciation.

I think that if you truly love and respect someone, you will be open about your feelings and you will both work on that relationship in the necessary ways to reach an understanding so that you both DON’T feel like straying. After all, that’s what marriage is, it’s a commitment, it’s trust and it’s up to the couple to keep it an open, trusting relationship.  Guys, I’d love to hear some of your points of view. I’ve heard a lot of men who get their hearts broken by their lovers or partners, and I know you have an opinion!

Signs that She’s “Just Not That Into You”

Jill here again, to give you a woman’s perspective on all those burning questions you probably have about us mysterious enigmas that drive you crazy. Yes, women – you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them. However, I can definitely say that us women feel pretty much the same way about your guys, we just haven’t come up with a cliche to explain that. Well, to clarify, we just steal your cliche.  Men are definitely cut from a different cloth than women are. There are a lot of fundamental differences between us, which is part of the reason we have trouble communicating with eachother sometimes.

I suppose this can be said of friendships too, but let’s face it, you don’t have to live with your friends day in and day out, and you don’t really have those high expectations of them like you do with your chosen partner.  Even though men and women have more than their fair share of differences, there are some ways in which we express ourselves similarly.

One of them is how we show you we are into you.  We show you by actions, sure, but there also may be some words here and there that tell you how we’re feeling, and if you’re that proverbial “emergency guy” that they’re holding onto just in case they pass whatever golden age they set for themselves to get married.  Sounds cruel, but some of us women do that. I’ve been guilty out of dating guys out of boredom, even when I knew that I just didn’t really like him that way.

What can I say? Sometimes you do things without realizing you’re wasting yours and someone else’s precious time, and it just feels like you should be giving SOMEONE a chance, so it just sort of happens that way.

I’m ashamed to say it, but I once dated a guy for a few years that I knew I didn’t want to marry after not even being with him for one year. Why did I waste those extra few years on him? I supposed part of it was low self esteem. After all, it was in college, I was young, and I thought maybe that’s what love was. Deep down though, I knew that certain things he did made my skin crawl, and in the end we just weren’t sexually or socially compatible.

I ended up breaking it off, actually a few times, before he finally got the hint and stopped trying to contact me.  I can tell you from a woman who has experienced not being into guys, what I’ve done or how I’ve acted when I’m just not that into them, either from the beginning or after we’ve been dating a while.

Here are some of the hints you should take as a woman just not being into you enough to keep sharing yourself with her:

1.)  If she treats you a little too much like a friend. For example, if she’s telling you about her bowel movements in the first month of dating, you might want to take that as a sign that she doesn’t feel much sexual attraction to you.  These are details women only share when they know you well usually!

2.)  If she seems like she’s off on another planet when you’re talking to her. Very bad sign.

3.)  If she has a wandering eye or keeps flirting with one of your buddies.  Big time bad sign.

4.)  If she keeps making excuses to not get intimate with you.  If a woman finds you attractive, she finds the prospect of taking your clothes off pretty darn fun all the time.

5.)  If she keeps trying to change your clothes, the way you talk, or critiquing you.