Relationships

Men Cheat More on Women Who Bring Home the Bacon?

Well, this most certainly isn’t a great statistic for women who happen to be the major breadwinners in their relationship. Apparently, women who bring home the majority of the money in the household, or earn significantly more than their husbands or partners, are actually cheated on more than women who earn less than their men, or women who actually rely on their man for all the money.  You see, there are two ends of the spectrum here.

Women who earn way more money, and also women who earn way less or totally depend on their husbands financially actually tend to get cheated on more. So it seems that being at either end of this spectrum doesn’t bode well for your chances of getting cheated on for the poor ladies!

Researchers who have been studying this curious statistic have theories as to why this is true, and I happen to totally agree with them because when I heard the statistics, I thought the same thing.

Women who earn way more may be unintentionally hurting their man’s precious ego by earning more and somewhat emasculating the man, since tradition still dictates that men should be the breadwinners.  Although this archaic idea is really being shoved aside by more modern realities – like women being very much more dominant in the workplace, it still is a commonly held traditional idea that is unknowingly perpetuated in the male and female dynamic in a relationship.

Also, men tend to cheat more on women who are totally financially dependent on them. Since many times this sort of situation involves a lot of business travel and time being away from home for the man, the theory is that it offers a more broad opportunity for cheating.  After all, it’s theoretically easier to cheat when you’re not even in town.

Often times highly paid jobs that can support two people and a family involve travel, so that is why this was factored in to the equation for the women totally supported by men.  Counter to that, these same women who are totally financially dependent are much less likely to cheat on their spouses than other women. Go figure!

Women Now Have Another “Plan B”

Hey guys, Jill here again with news in the world of sexual contraception. Yup, that good stuff that lets adults be sexually active adults like they should be, without all the resultant kiddies that would have occurred if we didn’t have access to the most effective forms of birth control ever today.

We’ve come a long way, after all, from the archaic birth control pills of yesteryear that caused dramatic hormonal effects and had the poor women using them almost willing to have ten kids just not to be on the pill!

The new choice available to women is another back up plan one, that can be taken post-coital, as a way to prevent pregnancy from fully taking effect after you have had unprotected sex or the condom broke or some similar situation which has you worried about unintended pregnancy.

Plan B is the contraceptive that women can take up to three days after unprotected sexual intercourse which will prevent pregnancy, and this one is available to women of all ages, as well as to women without a prescription from a doctor. This new one is a little more stringent on age and on the prescription front, but the good news is that it adds another two days of protection in their for good measure, giving you a total of five days protection.

It has been tested and has been shown to be both safe and effective for preventing unwanted pregnancy in women who have had oopsie sex.  Now, if they could only come out with a good birth control pill which truly had absolutely no side effects, I’d be totally stoked about that one.

Blow Jobs a Must?

For a lot of men, well, let me rephrase that – about every man alive – blow jobs are a really important part of keeping an interesting, sexy and satisfying sex life and partnership with their partner.  Ask any guy about whether he enjoys a good blow job, and he will answer yes, unless he is from another planet or perhaps another culture other than this one.

Oral sex is an essential part of overall sexual satisfaction for a lot of guys, and it’s a major complaint that women don’t want to do them a whole lot. Now, of course you do have the ladies who like to give them, but let’s be honest guys – would you want to spend several minutes on your knees doing something that probably is totally boring and feels like a waste of time if you were a busy woman?

Probably not – so hey guys, our women do them because they love us, and they know we love oral sex, and that’s the  bottom line.  They are a fun part of a healthy sexual relationship.  Sexual relationships that stay exciting and fun are the ones where couples really change things up a lot.

After all, even if you’re totally gaga for someone and love having sex with them, let’s face it, doing it missionary style wears thin after a while. We are human, and we like to experiment and we like variety. We never like to be in a sexual rut, and that is exactly where a lot of couples find themselves.

Maybe you and your partner could discuss what you feel is acceptable for alternatives to sexual intercourse, and agree on how you could pleasure eachother otherwise, and how often it should be. Shoot, this kind of stuff should really be discussed before marriage – it might lead to a lot less cheating and divorce, and help a lot of couples be nice to eachother.

After all, it’s way easier to be nice to one another when there is no sexual frustration in the partnership and both partners feel satisfied in the sack.

Childless Couples Happier?

Hey guys, Jill here.  I’ve been seeing a lot more articles written about the big question in so many relationships – whether or not to have kids of their own. I know that it’s a totally personal decision, and would NEVER dream of judging anyone for their decisions. It’s a totally personal decision, and it’s really no one else’s business whether you decide to have children or not.  My husband and I have made the very personal decision that we most likely will not have children.

Do we not like kids?  No, absolutely not. I enjoy kids, I think they are hilarious actually, and they really do make you smile like nothing else can when they say something totally innocent.  It’s great to see the joy on their faces when they are experiencing something new too.

I just have a lot of other things on my personal agenda that might make parenthood a back burner sort of thing. Maybe just saying that alone means I’m just not destined to have children. I don’t really know.  Sometimes I get the maternal instinct, but honestly my husband and I have never had a lot of money until we started to make more in our careers about six years ago.

Since then, we’ve finally been able to make some purchases we always wanted to, and to travel more. We are really enjoying life, and really enjoying eachother, and that’s all we personally need right now.  The only thing that sort of keeps me up at night is the possibility that we will regret the decision to go childless when I’m too old to have a child of my own safely. There’s always adoption, but realistically that takes several years to even get through, so the timing thing would be all off.

I’m ok with it.  It’s a very personal decision, and you should never get shit for it if it’s a decision you’re ok with.  Likewise, you should never force your opinion that being childless is the best way to go either!

Prolactin Dampens Sexual Arousal for Women

This is Jill here guys, with a woman’s perspective on something that only women can do – give birth to the beautiful babies of this world.  And, as a woman who has not yet ever given birth myself, and may never do at any point, I may not be the most qualified to talk about it, but I’m going to.

I’ve always wondered how new mothers even try to fit in sexual activity with their partners when they have a new infant to deal with. In fact, most women do say that they’re not even sure how to do the most basic of things when they are new moms, especially for the first time, when they are just figuring out how to be a good mother.  One thing that is particularly frustrating for both new parents, the mom and dad, is the lack of sexual desire on the part of the woman.

Many times, men still have the same sexual desire they had before, although they may be somewhat dampened from the often sleepless nights and nervousness that comes with having a little one around.  This can definitely become a source of tension in a marriage, and it’s important to talk about it with your spouse of significant other, so that you know what the expectations should be.

Not only are the nervousness and inability to get full nights of sleep, let alone figure out what the baby wants 24/7 a constant interrupter of peace and any sexual impulses you might have, but also women deal with another obstacle to even having the faintest glimmer of a desire to get busy.  Prolactin, a hormone that is secreted when a woman is breast feeding her baby, actually has been found to suppress sexual desire in women.

As if nature weren’t cruel enough in new motherhood in other ways to our bodies with raging hormones and often times a touch of post partum depression, she also had to throw the wrench of adding more reasons for us not wanting to have sex. Thanks mother nature, we owe you one for that!  The mother is more intent on bonding with her infant as well, which may take a lot of the attention off of her relationship, and of course that can add to the unspoken tension in the relationship as well.

One thing is for sure, the solid, long standing relationships will weather new parenthood well, while the ones that are a little more fragile could possibly fall apart during such trying times. Remember that it’s just sex, and your sex lives will return to normal eventually. Sex isn’t the only reason you picked your partner, they’re also your best friend.

What Infidelity Does to a Relationship

The infidelity is one of the most common issues when people are young. So much irrelevant to older but very relevant to younger couples.  What are those things that make one person to believe to his/her partner?

To have a happy, successful, long-term relationship filled with respect, understanding, love and desire for intimacy is not something that happens every day. If you have it please, do not take it for granted. It is very important to know what to do to maintain the harmony in the relationship, but you need to know what can distort and destroy the thing you are trying to build for so long.

The feelings of loneliness are one of the most common reasons why girls betray their partners. Although it may sound contradictory that one girl in a relationship can be lonely she may feel emotionally unfulfilled.

This may be the case when the partner is too busy with work or if he spends more time with his friend than with her while she spends her time alone. Sometimes women may feel insecure and may betray him just to prove herself that she is in shape. She very often feels that her partner doesn’t pay enough attention and she makes him notice some bad things and behavior on her side.

The problems in many relationships are a direct consequence of insufficient and ineffective communication. The silence you can call “the relationship killer” it is present when any of the partners begins to live in a world without desire to share feelings with the other. The avoidance of the problems will never contribute to their solution but only to their storage.

The jealousy in one relationship is like a salt in food. This means that in small dose can improve the relationship but when you cross the border becomes obsessive and it becomes a quiet killer of the relationship.

Men are emotional and want the women to show them how much she appreciates and wants him. But they do not admit it as openly as women. When women want attention they will require, but men will not. Men do not betray just for sex. They feel a connection with other women where the sex is just a consequence.
Therefore, if you are afraid of infidelity, focus towards the emotional connection with your partner, as the infidelity can destroy not only your youth but your life.

What will not kill you-will make you stronger!

Yaz and Yasmine Birth Control Get Warning Labels

Two popular female contraceptive pills, Yaz, and Yasmine, are going to get new FDA imposed warning labels on them. The warning labels are going to contain a warning about the risks of developing a blood clot. In fact, many birth control pills carry the risk of blood clots, but they are increased dramatically if the patient smokes, so anti smoking warnings are in all of the birth control pills packaging that I’ve seen.

It was not clear if they had already had some sort of warning about blood clots, or if they didn’t have any at all, but to my understanding pretty much any female contraceptive containing synthetic hormones has to carry this risk warning in one form or another, because any estrogen based pill carries with it the risk for increased blood clot occurrence.

It is known that HRT, or Hormone Replacement Therapy in women at later ages increased the risks of heart disease and also breast cancer, but those were more serious forms of hormone replacement, whereas many pills now are actually lower doses of hormones.  I can’t wait til the day I can get off the pill. I really hate having to put synthetic hormones in my body every day.

Although, on the upside women who have been on the pill for several consecutive years may actually have a greater chance of living longer, if some recent findings in the medical community are accurate. Only caveat is that these were women who started off on the old school pills and stuck with them for years.

How Deep Is Your Love?

Yes, I titled a post after a famous Bee Gees song. Hey, I’m not immune to a little cheesy seventies romance music once in a while!  I know so many women (including my wife) who really love that song, and I think it’s not just because of the falsetto voices of the Gibb brothers singing the song, but it’s also about what it symbolizes for women.  Women really value long lasting, deep relationships. But they also value romance, and sometimes the two just don’t go hand in hand.

For instance, when you start farting in bed, that’s kind of when you know the constant facade of romances and perfection is over. And shoot, that usually happens after your first year together. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t love or respect eachother, it just means that you’re comfy enough with one another to let one rip here and there and have a laugh about it. No biggie, right? Happens in all long term relationships and marriages!

Shoot, I can’t tell you how many times my wife and I, who have been together for eight years now, have actually started laughing before we have sex, while we’re having foreplay time, or during sex because something funny happened to set us into laughing spells.  It’s ok  – not every moment is going to be a story book romance, and if you can’t get used to that, and more importantly, if she can’t, then there will be problems down the line.

You see, there’s a little thing called reality. And unfortunately a lot of these romances novels and movies tend to gloss over that little seven letter word, and give us (especially women) unrealistic views about modern romance and relationships.

People just don’t talk like that, and they don’t act like they first met forever. Intensity goes away, and what you are left with in the end after the initial intense sexual attraction fades, is whether you truly dig eachother on an emotional and spiritual level. If you don’t, well then, you just don’t last, and you go your separate ways.

Lasting love is really all about loving eachother’s souls and dealing with your shortcomings in a way that kind of laughs at the situation.  If you can’t have a sense of humor about life, then you may as well throw in the towel, because relationships are full of flaws, in the end it’s about how much you love the person for who they are.

Are All Women Sensitive?

Did you ever see the “Friends” episode, where Rachel tells Ross that it’s not what he said, it’s how he said it?  Well, ok, maybe it was really Monica and Chandler, I can’t remember for sure who the hell it was on that show, but I think you might be seeing where I’m going with this line of thought.

Women have a reputation as being more sensitive than men are. This is because often times, we are just simply a little more in tune with our emotions, and we tend to pick up on the little nuances of behavior and reactions that we see in people’s eyes and their faces and voices.

Sometimes too, it’s just the difference between how men and women communicate. Not only with eachother, but with all others in general, that gets us into hot water with the opposite of sex. I can tell you many times that my husband has said something that he thought was totally hilarious, but that I might have found offensive or insulting, and how many times I have ignored him and thought he wouldn’t notice, but he does.

The key to keeping a good relationship though, is open communication. Heck, if you don’t understand something your partner has said to you, then ask them for crying out loud – when has it become such a burden to do that? And I’ll never understand the married couples who just stop communicating. Let it out, argue, yell, get your point across, and then if you still can’t see eye to eye, you know there may be larger issues at work.

Remember That Anniversary

When it comes to what women want from men, and vice versa, it’s often telling the difference between the sexes when you look at the things that really strike a cord with them.  For example, women find it really romantic and a turn on when you remember the anniversary on which you met eachother, and her birthday and valentines day.

Things like that will melt a woman’s heart, and even get her in the mood to do some of the naughtier things that you’ve been trying to get her to do for years.  You wanted her to try some kinky role playing game for years? She may be game after you surprise her with romantic flowers and a nice bottle of wine and a dinner on that special day. Trust me, I know, I’m a woman after all.

Women really also like it when you show a concerted effort to get along with and get to know her family and her friends. She loves it when she can invite friends over and not have to feel awkward or embarrassed by your lack of enthusiasm for getting to know them or talking to them, so make a concerted effort to do these things, and she’ll be a wild tigress in bed the next time – I swear.

Women are just turned on by more of the little things in life, while men are more turned on and happy by other things – a lot of them sexual!