If the correct breathing weren’t so important, then tantric sex teachers wouldn’t focus so much on this one aspect of your sexual prowess now, would they?  Let’s talk about why proper breathing is so important for great sex.

First off, it is vital to your oxygen supplies. With each breath, you are inhaling precious oxygen into your lungs, where it is processed, sent to the blood, and lends itself to your energy and endurance levels, both totally essential for going for a long time, and being able to perform the task in the first place.

Breathing techniques such as those used in relaxation exercises like yoga and tai chi and meditation are also key to calming the mind and basically forcing it to focus and be “quiet”. When you can focus all of your thoughts and energy “in the moment”, guess how much better you experience is going to be?

Men tend to have a very hard time with breathing properly, and this can really encumber your chances of having both great orgasms, frequent orgasms, and having long, drawn out, satisfying sexual interludes.

If you want to learn the proper breathing techniques, try deep breathing exercises or enroll yourself in a yoga class. Yoga is not just for women any more. Have you seen the bodies on some of the guys who are seriously into yoga? Try Sting, David Duchovny, Ricky Martin, and lots more stars who have great bodies and you know they’re out there having great sex too….

So, sometimes we may not be totally focused on sex unless it’s after a party where we’ve drank a lot and we’ve flirted our asses off with you all night. Just sayin.  However, for those times when both of you are into getting hot and heavy, it’s important to really draw out the foreplay aspect of sex.  As they say, the longer it takes to get to something, the more you want it.

Foreplay, good foreplay at least, makes it so that your every cell is quivering for the final act by the time it comes around. When there is no foreplay, our bodies – both men and women’s are not adequately primed for sex.  I know that “primed” makes us sound like we’re a pump or a lawn mower or something, but hey, our bodies are, after all, somewhat of a mechanical device.  Especially when it comes to sex.

There are certain parts that are uber sensitive to touch, and if you start tempting each part with a light touch, a little lick, a lingering suck, then you are really priming the pump so to speak so that the final orgasm will be a summit of pleasure for each partner, and you feel closer to eachother every time you do it. This isn’t to say that you’ll always have the extra time (or imagination) that it takes to do the foreplay thing the right way every time.

Lord knows the quicky has it’s time and place, and that will never change. Just be careful that your sex life doesn’t become only made up of quickies. That can quickly lead to stagnation in your sex life as partners, so you want to make the time to do it right once a week  – pick a day on the weekend when you don’t have much going on, and stick to that schedule.

I myself have never even taken Ambien to make a judgment call as to whether it may or may not make sex much more fun or more uninhibited, so I can’t really say for sure whether I might agree with this assessment. As for doctors who know this drug and it’s generic counterpart, they say that there is absolutely no side effect like sexual enhancement for the drug, nor should there be, however there could always be the placebo effect.

Has any of our readers ever experienced a heightened sexual experience on Ambien or some other similar sleeping aid drug?  If so, please write and tell us all about your experience.  Who knows, maybe there is a whole subculture out there that has been doing this and we don’t even know it, or of course, it could just be a lot of hot air.

And fellas, this does not just apply to the men.  Let me assure you, we women still like to masturbate as well, even when we do have partners,  we just might be a little more discreet and a little less forthcoming about it to our partners and our friends during sex discussions.

The reason I’m writing this right now is because, as I was thinking about what would be a good time to run off and pleasure myself the other day, I thought of how long I’d been doing it without even knowing what it was for sure.  I remember that when I started to have sexual urges, before I even totally hit puberty – I mean, we’re talking pretty young here, like before the age of 11, I started experimenting with touching myself down there.

Not only that, I experimented with some boys as well, although what we engaged in was really nothing but a little bit of touching and rubbing, nothing serious at all, and no clothes came off at all either.  I guess you could call it “playing doctor”.

I remember asking my parents about these feelings, because I felt overhwhelmingly guilty about it, and one of my parents, whom I shall not name, completely shut me down, they did not want to talk about it at all, and I actually found that devastating, like I really had done something wrong and filthy and shameful and dirty.  This really carried with me for a long time, and I thought about how parents really should sit their kids down, whether they are  boys or girls, and tell them all about how sexual feelings are normal.

In my opinion, this should be done sooner than later. I don’t think that some parents realize how early on girls start having sexual urges because well, they’re girls and society just isn’t molded to think that way.  If I would have been sat down and told what behavior was appropriate and not appropriate, or what was normal to feel, I would have felt a little better about my urges and not felt so guilty and ashamed.

I think that a lot of adults today still have guilt and shame feelings about masturbating, but it really is a natural, healthy expression of sexual urges, and shouldn’t be as taboo as it is, after all, it’s a lot better than sleeping around and putting yourself at risk for STD’s and pregnancy!

However, if you are a man and are looking for a great sexual gift for your women this holiday, then try one of the female sexual enhancement supplements that has been derived from nature to help elevate a woman’s natural sensitivities to allow her to enjoy sex more often and crave it more often. Many times, the same type of principle applies to woman’s sexual enhancement as it does for men’s, except some women’s sexual enhancement products may also employ mood booster herbs and things that also happen to increase blood flow and energy levels.

All these things together make for a woman’s great sexual experiences since women tend to think of sex more readily when they actually have the energy to expend on it and are not overburdened or stressed, and also they tend to think of it more when more blood is flowing to the right areas, namely the vulva, the vagina and the clitoris, which swells up when a woman is sexually excited and allows her to enjoy the sensations sexual intercourse has to offer more readily.

For men, male sexual enhancement products tend to focus on a two pronged approach, at least those that are herbal, while things like Viagra and Levitra tend to focus solely on blood flow. Natural male enhancement products focus on two things usually, energy enhancement which helps a guy go for a longer time in bed, and also sexual potency, and blood flow.  These two things in tandem help a guy not only get in the mood and stay in the mood, but they also help immensely with endurance in the sack. What better way to brighten the holiday than a much needed energy infusion into your sex life with your loved one?

Something that can compound a man’s performance anxiety is whether or not he has had sexual problems in the past that have prevented him from totally pleasing a sexual partner or he’s been told that he’s a bad lover by someone who wants to hurt him badly.  Don’t laugh, this stuff actually happens, especially when a relationship has gone sour and someone wants to just hurt the other person!

If a guy hasn’t actually had sex, besides the kind that he can perform by self pleasuring for a while, then he might also experience a lot of anxiety about his sexual prowess, as if he’s sort of forgotten how to be a with a woman. Or he may feel weird because he’s been divorced and hasn’t been with a new woman in several years. He may think he lost his game, or that he’s not really going to know what turns a new lover on, so there’s always a certain degree of anxiety when you are with a new lover for the first few times.

You often probably hear women say they think they need female sexual enhancement products of some sort, maybe like a female version of viagra, because they don’t feel that they orgasm often enough or that they have a hard time achieving that orgasm due to limitations.  Tons of women have the same complaint, and that is, that they seem to feel the building of an orgasm, and it almost feels like the big orgasm is going to come, but then somehow, they lose it, and it’s almost like starting over, and they many times become discouraged and don’t even get into the sex again enough to orgasm, so often times, they leave the sexual experience without being totally satisfied whereas their partner may be totally satisfied with their orgasm experience.

An orgasm, for women, is like a series of pulsations in the vagina that also include an engorging of the vagina thanks to new blood flow due to sexual excitement down there, much like a man’s penis fills with blood when he gets sexually turned on.  Her breathing quickens, her breasts may even swell a bit, and a sense of euphoria hits just as the “release” feeling of the orgasm hits.  Many women may even lose control a bit, their toes curling, their mind temporarily blank, which is the ultimate release and a reason why men and women alike benefit from sex because it is a major stress reliever, making you forget all of your problems.

Many times the fact that a woman can build and build and feel like she’s going to experience that ultimate release that’s called an orgasm, and then find that they suddenly lost the feeling, has to do with her emotions in some way.  Perhaps she lost focus, or it could also be a range of other psychological issues, which it mostly ends up being rather than an actual physical problem, since women closely link their emotions to sexual enjoyment.

The recommendation for women who experience this is to let go of all your sexual inhibitions, and perhaps any body image issues you may have the prevent you from fully enjoying sex.  Some women even experience a general guilt feeling about having sex, and this has to be dropped if you are to enjoy the wonderful, God given pleasure of the female orgasm.

Some experts recommend that a woman or a man for that matter, do not fake orgasms routinely, as this creates a false sense of satisfaction, and in fact may become the norm for her to do it all the time even when she isn’t truly satisfied, or the guy isn’t truly satisfied, creating a sort of vicious cycle of dissatisfaction and false “positives” for the couple, without them truly learning what they need to do to bring eachother to climax when they have sexual intercourse or other types of sexual relations.

There are excellent female sexual enhancers that may help your partner to achieve orgasm more easily, and that may also get the dialogue going on whether the two of you are truly orgasming as often as you feel you need to when having intercourse.  And that thing in the movies where the partners both have their climax at the same time?  Um, that’s total fantasy and that rarely ever happens in the real beds of American men and women, yes, that even goes so for the most beautiful people out there like the actors and actresses that portray those perfectly orchestrated sex scenes that give us all sexual envy for no good honest reason.

It’s stuff like that in movies and pornos that get all of us thinking that our sex should look and feel like it does on the screen, and it’s totally unrealistic because both parties are acting and in fact they may be totally uncomfortable and/or not enjoying themselves at all, much less able to have a perfectly unified orgasm for goodness sake.  We all know how wonderfully erotic real sex can be, so don’t let that perfectly lit stuff get in the way of you enjoying your own real sexual fantasies.

Sexual frustration mounts quickly for both men and women when they are not having sexual relations often enough or when they have not orgasmed in a long time.  The male orgasm is a powerful thing, and having them often transcends into every other facet of our lives (see male orgasm tips on how to have better, more powerful orgasms).  This is only natural.  There is a whole rush of chemical reactions that occur when we – both men and women – have orgasms, that affects us in a positive way when it comes to our physiological responses.

There have been studies that suggest that having at least two orgasms per week for men and women can increase your life expectancy in fact.  So, if you’re not having sex all that often, this might be a good thing to tell your sexual partner so that you two can start making plans to get friendly in the bedroom more often!  The suspected reason for this increase in life span related to frequency of orgasms is that there is a chemical called DHEA (for short) released which improves your immune function, helps repair your tissues, improves focus and mental acuity, and may even improve your mood and your skin.  So wait a second, not only is it a benefit to your health, but  it can also help you look prettier?  Good deal!

This chemical is released both during sexual excitement and during sexual arousal in fact.  Having sex also helps to boost the male and female hormones, respectively, in the body, which are necessary for bone health, heart health and an array of other bodily functions which can potentially lengthen your life when they are released.  Not only that, but the actual act of having sexual intercourse is often an act that requires aerobic activity which is good for the circulation, heart health, mood boosting and also for your overall cardiovascular health.  It has also of course been linked to an array of other defenses against diseases that can be potentially deadly.

Men sometimes wear their sexual desire on their faces by the expressions they’re using, and often relay them sometimes not even knowing it, through their physical gestures and demeanor.  I just read an interesting book called “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell that was all about how humans have these exquisite mind-reading abilities that are used through how we depict subtle changes to the facial expressions people use as well as their body language. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean we are all psychic, but it does mean that humans have an innate sense of how to read facial expressions, even when they are fleeting and not so obvious to the naked eye.  Some of the examples he uses in his book are how marriage counselors that have been studying married couple’s interactions with eachother via videotape for years can tell within a few percentage points the likelihood whether that couple will remain together or divorce in a certain period of time, just by slowing frames down and reading expressions, as their developed expertise has allowed them to do.

Along the same vain, scientists have shown that women, when they were tested for certain chemical activities and brain activity when exposed to male sweat was that they some how subconsciously “read” that the man was attracted to them and wanted to be closer to them, because of the pheromones which are supposed to attract women that were emitted in their sweat.

I guess this explains why a lot of women claim that they love when they smell a shirt of their man’s that has a little bit of sweat on it (we’re not talking body odor sweat, just a lightly scented odor that turns them on), they actually get sexually aroused, but they don’t even know why.  It runs counter to what we would think, right, that a man’s sweaty clothes would be a major turnoff, but in fact it’s actually a subtle turn on for many female partners.