Pleasure (Orgasm) Enhancement

Ambien as a Sexual Enhancer?

So, the Tiger Woods scandal has caused yet another wave of excitement, intrigue and questions.  One of his alleged mistresses said that she and Tiger enjoyed many sexcapades after taking Ambien, apparently, or assumedly, as a sexual enhancement product in this capacity.  However, there is actually no scientific backing to the assumption that this or any other sleep aid would really enhance the sexual experience, other than maybe it may make a person less inhibited, or potentially relax them to a point almost like a roofie would, making the sexual experience more like a drugged up, pleasant experience.

I myself have never even taken Ambien to make a judgment call as to whether it may or may not make sex much more fun or more uninhibited, so I can’t really say for sure whether I might agree with this assessment. As for doctors who know this drug and it’s generic counterpart, they say that there is absolutely no side effect like sexual enhancement for the drug, nor should there be, however there could always be the placebo effect.

Has any of our readers ever experienced a heightened sexual experience on Ambien or some other similar sleeping aid drug?  If so, please write and tell us all about your experience.  Who knows, maybe there is a whole subculture out there that has been doing this and we don’t even know it, or of course, it could just be a lot of hot air.

When to Give the “Masturbation Talk”

Hey guys, Jill here once again, giving you the female perspective on something that we all do, we all love, and we all can’t live without. No, I’m not talking about eating, I’m talking about masturbation. Heck, let’s just get this out in the open, most of us who are married still take some time out to have a little autoeroticism in the bedroom, or wherever else it is that we happen to like a little private masturbation time to ourselves.

And fellas, this does not just apply to the men.  Let me assure you, we women still like to masturbate as well, even when we do have partners,  we just might be a little more discreet and a little less forthcoming about it to our partners and our friends during sex discussions.

The reason I’m writing this right now is because, as I was thinking about what would be a good time to run off and pleasure myself the other day, I thought of how long I’d been doing it without even knowing what it was for sure.  I remember that when I started to have sexual urges, before I even totally hit puberty – I mean, we’re talking pretty young here, like before the age of 11, I started experimenting with touching myself down there.

Not only that, I experimented with some boys as well, although what we engaged in was really nothing but a little bit of touching and rubbing, nothing serious at all, and no clothes came off at all either.  I guess you could call it “playing doctor”.

I remember asking my parents about these feelings, because I felt overhwhelmingly guilty about it, and one of my parents, whom I shall not name, completely shut me down, they did not want to talk about it at all, and I actually found that devastating, like I really had done something wrong and filthy and shameful and dirty.  This really carried with me for a long time, and I thought about how parents really should sit their kids down, whether they are  boys or girls, and tell them all about how sexual feelings are normal.

In my opinion, this should be done sooner than later. I don’t think that some parents realize how early on girls start having sexual urges because well, they’re girls and society just isn’t molded to think that way.  If I would have been sat down and told what behavior was appropriate and not appropriate, or what was normal to feel, I would have felt a little better about my urges and not felt so guilty and ashamed.

I think that a lot of adults today still have guilt and shame feelings about masturbating, but it really is a natural, healthy expression of sexual urges, and shouldn’t be as taboo as it is, after all, it’s a lot better than sleeping around and putting yourself at risk for STD’s and pregnancy!

Give Yourself the Gift of Better Sex this Holiday

What better present to give yourself for Christmas, or whatever other holiday you might be celebrating around this time of year, than the gift of better, more relaxing, stress relieving, mood boosting sex?  After all, aren’t those some of the fringe benefits of sex that we tend to forget about when we think of sexual intimacy?  We don’t really always think about all the other benefits that sexual intimacy that is satisfying actually lend to our lives.  We tend to think of it as either a quick, fun romp that feels good (it should at least!), or some of us unfortunately even look at sex as a chore.

However, if you are a man and are looking for a great sexual gift for your women this holiday, then try one of the female sexual enhancement supplements that has been derived from nature to help elevate a woman’s natural sensitivities to allow her to enjoy sex more often and crave it more often. Many times, the same type of principle applies to woman’s sexual enhancement as it does for men’s, except some women’s sexual enhancement products may also employ mood booster herbs and things that also happen to increase blood flow and energy levels.

All these things together make for a woman’s great sexual experiences since women tend to think of sex more readily when they actually have the energy to expend on it and are not overburdened or stressed, and also they tend to think of it more when more blood is flowing to the right areas, namely the vulva, the vagina and the clitoris, which swells up when a woman is sexually excited and allows her to enjoy the sensations sexual intercourse has to offer more readily.

For men, male sexual enhancement products tend to focus on a two pronged approach, at least those that are herbal, while things like Viagra and Levitra tend to focus solely on blood flow. Natural male enhancement products focus on two things usually, energy enhancement which helps a guy go for a longer time in bed, and also sexual potency, and blood flow.  These two things in tandem help a guy not only get in the mood and stay in the mood, but they also help immensely with endurance in the sack. What better way to brighten the holiday than a much needed energy infusion into your sex life with your loved one?

Reasons for Performance Anxiety

There are any number of sexual performance anxiety fears in both men and women, however, men tend to feel it a little more since their sexual organ, the penis, is something that can only perform as long as it is erect, while a woman really only needs to worry about her moves and whether or not she may become dry during the sex act.  Men have a little more to worry about though, especially since a lot of men put unreasonable expectations on themselves when it comes to pleasing women in the sack, thanks to a lot of movies that make it look like making love several times a night or for hours is a normal thing for men.  It simply is not.

Something that can compound a man’s performance anxiety is whether or not he has had sexual problems in the past that have prevented him from totally pleasing a sexual partner or he’s been told that he’s a bad lover by someone who wants to hurt him badly.  Don’t laugh, this stuff actually happens, especially when a relationship has gone sour and someone wants to just hurt the other person!

If a guy hasn’t actually had sex, besides the kind that he can perform by self pleasuring for a while, then he might also experience a lot of anxiety about his sexual prowess, as if he’s sort of forgotten how to be a with a woman. Or he may feel weird because he’s been divorced and hasn’t been with a new woman in several years. He may think he lost his game, or that he’s not really going to know what turns a new lover on, so there’s always a certain degree of anxiety when you are with a new lover for the first few times.

Why Orgasms are Hard for Some Women

Achieving full on, oh my God, head spinning orgasms, is difficult for a lot of women.  It can be difficult for some guys to achieve this level of sexual peak, but it’s often much harder for women to achieve, due to a variety of factors, including physiological ones that have to do with how a woman’s sexual anatomy is set up, and also because a lot of psychological reasons go into a woman sexually climaxing, where for men it’s more of a function of physiology that makes us climax more easily with each sexual intercourse encounter.

You often probably hear women say they think they need female sexual enhancement products of some sort, maybe like a female version of viagra, because they don’t feel that they orgasm often enough or that they have a hard time achieving that orgasm due to limitations.  Tons of women have the same complaint, and that is, that they seem to feel the building of an orgasm, and it almost feels like the big orgasm is going to come, but then somehow, they lose it, and it’s almost like starting over, and they many times become discouraged and don’t even get into the sex again enough to orgasm, so often times, they leave the sexual experience without being totally satisfied whereas their partner may be totally satisfied with their orgasm experience.

An orgasm, for women, is like a series of pulsations in the vagina that also include an engorging of the vagina thanks to new blood flow due to sexual excitement down there, much like a man’s penis fills with blood when he gets sexually turned on.  Her breathing quickens, her breasts may even swell a bit, and a sense of euphoria hits just as the “release” feeling of the orgasm hits.  Many women may even lose control a bit, their toes curling, their mind temporarily blank, which is the ultimate release and a reason why men and women alike benefit from sex because it is a major stress reliever, making you forget all of your problems.

Many times the fact that a woman can build and build and feel like she’s going to experience that ultimate release that’s called an orgasm, and then find that they suddenly lost the feeling, has to do with her emotions in some way.  Perhaps she lost focus, or it could also be a range of other psychological issues, which it mostly ends up being rather than an actual physical problem, since women closely link their emotions to sexual enjoyment.

The recommendation for women who experience this is to let go of all your sexual inhibitions, and perhaps any body image issues you may have the prevent you from fully enjoying sex.  Some women even experience a general guilt feeling about having sex, and this has to be dropped if you are to enjoy the wonderful, God given pleasure of the female orgasm.

Is Faking an Orgasm a Bad Thing?

Although many women admit to regularly faking orgasms so that their partners think they’ve had one (to spare their feelings, or perhaps in an unselfish way to make sure they have their orgasm without feeling bad that she hasn’t had hers), there is some debate over whether that’s actually a good thing for the woman and her partner, especially the woman, because it’s not really an honest reaction to sex and may mislead their partner into thinking he’s doing the right things to get her to “go” and he’s not, furthering sexual tension and frustration down the line if she’s consistently not getting what she needs to reach sexual peak.

Some experts recommend that a woman or a man for that matter, do not fake orgasms routinely, as this creates a false sense of satisfaction, and in fact may become the norm for her to do it all the time even when she isn’t truly satisfied, or the guy isn’t truly satisfied, creating a sort of vicious cycle of dissatisfaction and false “positives” for the couple, without them truly learning what they need to do to bring eachother to climax when they have sexual intercourse or other types of sexual relations.

There are excellent female sexual enhancers that may help your partner to achieve orgasm more easily, and that may also get the dialogue going on whether the two of you are truly orgasming as often as you feel you need to when having intercourse.  And that thing in the movies where the partners both have their climax at the same time?  Um, that’s total fantasy and that rarely ever happens in the real beds of American men and women, yes, that even goes so for the most beautiful people out there like the actors and actresses that portray those perfectly orchestrated sex scenes that give us all sexual envy for no good honest reason.

It’s stuff like that in movies and pornos that get all of us thinking that our sex should look and feel like it does on the screen, and it’s totally unrealistic because both parties are acting and in fact they may be totally uncomfortable and/or not enjoying themselves at all, much less able to have a perfectly unified orgasm for goodness sake.  We all know how wonderfully erotic real sex can be, so don’t let that perfectly lit stuff get in the way of you enjoying your own real sexual fantasies.

An Orgasm A Week Keeps the Doctor Away?

It has been well documented that frequent sex can have a multitude of health benefits, but what are the benefits?  Are they quantifiable, or is it just one of those things we like to believe because it’s just so darn fun to do all the time, and if there are health benefits too, then that just makes it all that much more fun and justified. You see, not only is sex our human race’s natural way to further our species and reproduce, but nature also made it so that having sex frequently is good for us and feel so good that we want to do it a lot.  I think you can probably relate this to your life.  How good do you feel when you’re having sex often?  Probably a lot more relaxed and focused than when you aren’t.

Sexual frustration mounts quickly for both men and women when they are not having sexual relations often enough or when they have not orgasmed in a long time.  The male orgasm is a powerful thing, and having them often transcends into every other facet of our lives (see male orgasm tips on how to have better, more powerful orgasms).  This is only natural.  There is a whole rush of chemical reactions that occur when we – both men and women – have orgasms, that affects us in a positive way when it comes to our physiological responses.

There have been studies that suggest that having at least two orgasms per week for men and women can increase your life expectancy in fact.  So, if you’re not having sex all that often, this might be a good thing to tell your sexual partner so that you two can start making plans to get friendly in the bedroom more often!  The suspected reason for this increase in life span related to frequency of orgasms is that there is a chemical called DHEA (for short) released which improves your immune function, helps repair your tissues, improves focus and mental acuity, and may even improve your mood and your skin.  So wait a second, not only is it a benefit to your health, but  it can also help you look prettier?  Good deal!

This chemical is released both during sexual excitement and during sexual arousal in fact.  Having sex also helps to boost the male and female hormones, respectively, in the body, which are necessary for bone health, heart health and an array of other bodily functions which can potentially lengthen your life when they are released.  Not only that, but the actual act of having sexual intercourse is often an act that requires aerobic activity which is good for the circulation, heart health, mood boosting and also for your overall cardiovascular health.  It has also of course been linked to an array of other defenses against diseases that can be potentially deadly.

Pheromones in Your Sweat?

That’s right, those tricky little devils they call pheromones that are supposedly responsible for our subconscious longing for sexual dalliances with certain people we see or come in contact with, are emitted through our sweat, so when you’re sweating a bit guys, this makes you a little sexier to women, and they actually can sense your sexual intentions toward them by subconsciously “detecting” or smelling your pheoromones.  In other words, they know they feel an attraction and a spark, but they may not be able to understand why all of the time.

Men sometimes wear their sexual desire on their faces by the expressions they’re using, and often relay them sometimes not even knowing it, through their physical gestures and demeanor.  I just read an interesting book called “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell that was all about how humans have these exquisite mind-reading abilities that are used through how we depict subtle changes to the facial expressions people use as well as their body language. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean we are all psychic, but it does mean that humans have an innate sense of how to read facial expressions, even when they are fleeting and not so obvious to the naked eye.  Some of the examples he uses in his book are how marriage counselors that have been studying married couple’s interactions with eachother via videotape for years can tell within a few percentage points the likelihood whether that couple will remain together or divorce in a certain period of time, just by slowing frames down and reading expressions, as their developed expertise has allowed them to do.

Along the same vain, scientists have shown that women, when they were tested for certain chemical activities and brain activity when exposed to male sweat was that they some how subconsciously “read” that the man was attracted to them and wanted to be closer to them, because of the pheromones which are supposed to attract women that were emitted in their sweat.

I guess this explains why a lot of women claim that they love when they smell a shirt of their man’s that has a little bit of sweat on it (we’re not talking body odor sweat, just a lightly scented odor that turns them on), they actually get sexually aroused, but they don’t even know why.  It runs counter to what we would think, right, that a man’s sweaty clothes would be a major turnoff, but in fact it’s actually a subtle turn on for many female partners. 

New : Tips on the Male Orgasm

We have a new page here at MEM and of course it’s devoted to our favorite topic, how to get men to orgasm better, faster and more effectively.  It’s all about what to do and what not to do for those of you who are wondering how to get your male partners to have better orgasms and enjoy sex more with you – and you’ll reap the rewards too of course !

See it at Male Orgasm Tips. 

Wanna Rev the Sex Life? Get a Hotel!

Sometimes when you’re feeling like you and your partner’s sex lives are kind of in a rut – and believe me, if you haven’t experienced that yet then you’re either in the beginnings of a new relationship where everything seems new or exciting, or you don’t keep women around very long and move on pretty quick – there are some surefire ways to get the smoke going in the bedroom again, but of course you can’t always do them or else they lose their novelty, and hence the pleasure and excitement they add may be gone. 

One of my favorite things to do to get the excitement going again, and the reckless abandonment that often goes with the sexual experiences you have with a new lover, is to get a nice hotel room.  Now, I know that this isn’t something you can do very often, especially considering you can’t even get a decent hotel that isn’t a roach motel for under a hundred and fifty bucks these days, but it is something you can do when you feel stuck and need to get away and out of your typical surroundings in order to make things a little more exciting, but it may be something to think about a few times a year.

Going to a hotel opens up this sort of exciting side to your sex life.  You can go down to the bar and get drinks, which of course is an aphrodisiac in itself, and you both are relaxed because you know that you can just walk back up to the hotel room and take your time, ravishing eachother any way you want (mirrors on the ceiling or right by the bed are a kinky touch), and neither of you has to worry about driving home or getting up in the morning for anything in particular.  It’s basically it’s own natural libido booster, since relaxation is one of the key components to keeping a good sex life going, as well as a little feeling of kinkiness once in a while to keep the excitement in a relationship.

Just the relaxation and not having to pick up after yourselves is a part of the thrill.  Not only that, but there is a kinky, depraved side to getting a hotel that seems to bring out the sexual animal in people.  There’s a reason why the maids needs to come in and clean up all the time – there is always something going on in the rooms