Here Nor There

Tiger Woods a Sex Addict?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple weeks, you’ve heard the explosive story that just seems to be getting more and more scandalous as each day passes, about golf great Tiger Wood’s alleged infidelities that span more and more women who seem to be coming forward every day. Shoot, the latest is how Tiger pays for sex allegedly, as one Madam has claimed that he has given call girls gifts and paid for gifts. Even more awful, one porn star says that he “chose her” to have sex with at his bachelor party, the night before his wedding. Wow, all these accusations sure are tarnishing the golf star’s formerly squeaky clean family man image.

Worst of all, you really gotta feel for his Sweden-born wife Elin.  It seems like she may have given up some of her dreams to become Tiger’s devoted wife, and give birth to two children for him, to be treated this way. And Tiger, you bonehead, she’s very beautiful. Good job ruining things, because I have a feeling that this may be the start of his downfall, unless he can spin this to advantage somehow, but I’m just not seeing that.

Cheating is still considered morally reprehensible by the majority of the American public, but one, maybe even two infidelities might be forgiven by the finicky American public, but now that more and more women are coming forward, this is not looking good for Tiger. I could definitely see him coming out with a public statement that he is dealing with sex addiction, which seems more and more to be a scapegoat of the rich and the famous who are caught with their pants down – several times – to use when they have betrayed their spouses’ and their public’s trust.

Is there really such a thing as sex addiction though, or is it really just a faulty wiring that makes people like this go out and seek sex actively with people other than their spouse or significant others?  I think there probably is such a thing as sex addiction, however I also think that it is wrongly used to justify acts that normally land you on the biggest cad of the year list.  Hmm, should we start a biggest cad of the year list?  That might be kinda fun!

Men: Don’t Hide That Work Frustration!

We all have pent up frustration of all sorts.  The more emotionally healthy we are at expressing that frustration though, the more likely it won’t interfere with our longevity by giving us the mother of all mothers – a heart attack. No health problem, other than cancer, strikes as much fear into the heart of a man, especially a man in middle age or slightly beyond.

Men are known to have more heart problems, and there is even some research suggesting that men’s hearts simply are not as strong or resilient as a woman’s heart is built, most likely because a women has to withstand the enormous pressures of carrying and having a child, which puts a lot of stress and strain on the woman’s body.  That’s capitulation of course, but it does make sense if you wrap your head around it all the way.

It’s not to say that all men’s hearts are inferior, simply because they are male.  Of course, there are a lot of other factors that enter into the picture that determine the strength and longevity of our dear ol’ hearts. Things like congenital heart defects (which we are born with) and also genetics play into our heart issues quite a bit too, so mom and pop’s tickers may definitely foreshadow any problems you might have as well.

A study, commissioned in Sweden, showed that men who tended to cope with problems at the workplace where they perceived that they were being treated unfairly or were not being compensated or otherwise were being treated badly or taken for granted, in a way that they did not show any outward emotion (ie they bottled their emotions up), were almost five times more likely to suffer heart attacks where they died, or to have some serious form of heart disease.

This is not a huge surprise, as emotions are closely tied to our health in more ways than even the most self aware of us can imagine.  I wish that men (and women) would realize what they are doing to themselves when they don’t address issues that are bothering them or making them feel bad in some way. Also, if you are in toxic relationships or in situations that create a lot of stress of self esteem issues, then you need to get out of them as soon as possible if you are to salvage your health.

There is such a very powerful connection between the mind and body that I don’t think people realize how much they can help their health by being mentally healthy.

Day After Thanksgiving Hangover?

Are you experiencing that familiar holiday “hangover”?  Not necessarily because you imbibed too many holiday spirits (aka beer, wine, cocktails and eggnog and the like), but because first of all your family drove you a little nuts, and second of all, you are still digesting that massive plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and a dollop of healthy vegetables you had? Oh, and the seconds, and the desserts like pumpkin pie, pumpkin roll, cherry and apple pie, dirt casserole and a little bit of that delicious cake that someone brought?  And yes, I’m taking that sample from my own personal experience yesterday.

Well, relax, because we’ve all been there.  The holidays are fun, yes. But they are also overwhelming and can lead to a lot of stress eating and drinking that almost never leaves off with the actual holiday, but rather it tends to drag on through the whole month of November and the entire month of December.  I call it my own personal holiday hangover, because after Thanksgiving, it feels like your body just wants to eat whatever it wants, and wants to consume way more alcohol than what is healthy for you.

Not that it hurts here and there, but let’s face it alcohol overconsumption and eating foods that are fatty and high in salt and sugar isn’t what’s going to give you that golden ticket that guarantees a spot in the octegenarian or centenarian line that so many of us aspire to be in these days, longevity wise.  Not only that, but we all know what feeling fat and lazy does to our libido (let’s keep it sexual, after all that is the topic of this blog, and sex makes the world go ’round, that and love I guess).

It’s no surprise that our libidos tend to go down the tubes around the holidays. Not only are we stressed about what the perfect gifts are for Aunt Betty and cousin Sue, but we also have to deal with holiday parties, people constantly bringing naughty foods into work for us to nosh on which make us feel even more lethargic, and then we also have to deal with the financial and family pressures that come with the holiday season.

In short, it’s pretty tough out there during the holidays, and if we don’t watch it, before we know it we’re looking at the scale and noticing we put on fifteen pounds and now we gotta take it off. So, have fun, but not TOO MUCH fun this holiday season. Remember what’s important, and remember that happiness isn’t always loads of butter and carbs (well, sometimes it is), but it’s really about having control and feeling good about yourself.

Nature’s Aphrodisiacs, Raw Oysters, Threatened by FDA

Oysters, particularly raw oysters, which unfortunately make me want to gag personally, have always enjoyed the reputation of being a natural libido booster for men.  Raw oyster lovers, perhaps maybe because they know of their supposed aphrodisiac qualities that have become an interminable part of sexual mythology, have asked the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) to back off their plans to limit the sale of these buggers, because they think they are too dangerous and could be contaminated when eaten raw, making a person perhaps violently ill if consumed.

There is a certain bacteria that raw oysters can harbor that can potentially kill people, although the risk is fairly low, it’s there and it’s real, and it could either make you very sick or at the very worst kill you, and that is the reason that the government is trying to halt sales, which are a huge industry in the gulf of Mexico in the summer and spring months when tourists and locals devour these petite bites of heaven (if you like that sort of thing, that is).

In response, there has been an uprising, saying that the government is meddling too much and would hurt the local economy too much, and I happen to agree. Hey, people should know that eating raw food of any type is dangerous because the bacteria is not killed by heat. You can also get sick from eating steak tartar, or even sushi, and I’ve heard of people getting sick from a lot of types of seafood, even when it’s been cooked thoroughly, so I think the FDA is taking this a bit too far, and should just urge restaurant goers to be cautious that they could get sick when eating certain food.

Hey, and those that use raw oysters as an aphrodisiac won’t be disappointed either.  Is there any truth to oysters being sexual stimulants and male libido enhancers?  I honestly don’t know if they do something to men and women that might make them horny, but I’ve heard lots of anecdotal stories about it, so there must be some sort of truth to it.

Why Fighting Dampens Sex Drive

I’ve never seen anything so powerful as a tiff or full blown fight in dampening any sort of sex drive in both women and men.  This may be especially true for women, who are much more emotionally driven when it comes to anything sexual then men are.  Men tend to be, oh how do I say this, primitive, when it comes to their sex drive and sexual needs, not so much relying on that emotional part of the brain to get them in the mood, but more so getting themselves motivated by the primordial urges that separate men from women when it comes to how they derive pleasure from sexual contact.

Fighting not only puts pressure on a relationship, it also turns couples against one another, and turns on those little sneaky feelings of resentment and hostility that interfere with the need to copulate, or make love, totally sabotaging your planned little tryst.  If you think about it, it does make sense, since most couples who fight like cats and dogs also end up having a lousy sex life, unless they happen to have incredibly great “make up sex”, but even after a while makeup sex can’t make up for the fact that you have fought so hard that the last thing on earth you want to do is touch eachother and create pleasure for one another.

That’s a sign that a relationship is broken, when partners no longer have that desire to do things for eachother, whether it be in bed or out of bed,  and it’s a sign that counseling may be needed. When you think of all the potential things there are out there that couples can fight about, including money which is probably the most common thing, especially right now, it’s easy to let fights or little spats get in the way of a great, mutually fulfilling sex life for both partners.

You really have to be able to have an open dialogue with your partner, and resolve to never go to bed angry, I’ve found this immensely helpful in my relationship of eight years, because if we go to bed angry, that tends to run over in to the next day, and the next, and the next, and so on and so forth until the resentment builds to intolerable and unmanageable proportions. It’s best to talk it through, trust me.  Couples have enough pressure facing them these days, it’s best to hash it out when it happens instead of letting it stew, take it from a pro!

Abstinence Before Wedding a Good Idea?

Hmm, I’m debating this one.  My fiance thinks it’s a good idea, that it will make sex all that much more interesting and exciting on our wedding night, which isn’t too far off now, but I’m somehow doubting that this really works for men?  I don’t know, We’ve never really gone more than one week without being intimate in some sexual fashion, so it should be interesting if she gets her way and there’s no whoopie of any sort for the next two weeks (maybe a little more depending on where we draw the no sex line).  What do you think?

Here’s my concern with abstaining from sex or sexual intimacy for a while before the wedding. What if this builds too much angst and we are at eachother’s throats, nonetheless right before our special day? Shoot, this could be bad, we could get into a big fight and the wedding would be off. But alas, that probably won’t happen, but I am concerned because if I go to long without sex of some sort, I have a lot of pent up agression and anxiety, and that often exhibits itself in me being a total a@#hole, I’ll totally admit it.

On the other hand, it could be kind of cool to have a real reason to look forward to the day, besides sweaty palms and performance anxiety over the whole cermonial thing and reception thing that’s not coming til later, but still, there’s the anxiety about your families mingling together ok and then with the added anxiety of not having that sexual release, that might make for one great night of sexual ecstasy, who knows?

That’s what I’m hoping. There are lots of women who are really into this whole idea, but not surprisingly, a lot of guys think it’s pretty lame. I’m not sure which camp I’m in yet.  Time will tell if I become a ticking testosterone bomb or not that just needs to go off one way or another. It could definitely not be pretty!

Football Time!

So last weekend kicked off that all important male bonding time, the NFL football season.  Are you a fan?  I’m a huge football fan, and we actually have people over to our house every Sunday to watch the NFL, so it’s gonna be another busy season of cleaning house, going out to fetch the beer and goodies, and packing on a few good old beer and chip pounds.  Oh, did I mention the pizza, wings, fattening dips, appetizers like mini weiners, sauerkraut balls and fried mac and cheese?  Yes, I said it, there is such a thing as fried mac and cheese, and yes, it is as good as it damn well sounds!

What you need to be careful of though during this season is that you keep your diet in check.  Not only does you diet affect your chances of getting male specific cancers like prostate cancer, but it also affects your libido and your abilities in bed, like your ability to get and maintain a hard on for example, because your natural sexual performance is almost always better when you’re working out and eating the right foods.  By the way, I wrote about watermelon helping with fueling your sexual prowess because it opens up necessary blood flow passages a couple weeks ago.  It seems to be true.

My fiance and I had some of the best sex the night  after we ate a bunch of watermelon and cantaloupe, and I don’t think it was any type of fluke, I think that my great performance (long time, and I also got a very full, very hard erection, even after drinking a little), was probably somehow related to the intake of the luscious melon.

Just remember to work in your fruits and veggies, especially during the week, to make up for your undoubted pigging out on the weekends, or at least eat a healthful lunch and breakfast to make up for the football game time eating.  That’s what I’m gonna try to do this year so that I don’ t pack on those requisite 5 to 10 football pounds.

Besides the eating, try not to be a total vegetable (like my pun) all day. Get up and off the couch at halftime and go get on your exercise machine, maybe turn the game on there if you have a tv in your exercise area, that way you’re not just sitting on the couch like a lump on a log all day long, but you’re getting up and getting your blood circulating, getting those endorphins going, and helping to condition your heart and your brain for better performance.

There are ways to indulge in your NFL obsession (and college football too on Saturdays) without totally sacrificing your health.

Generic and Name Brand ED Joke

I just couldn’t resist posting this silly joke about ED (Erectile Dysfunction) drugs and what their proposed generic names would be.  I think that Viagra may be getting ready to come off of it’s name brand status, maybe something like that, that prompted this joke, but I’m not sure to be honest, I think they pretty much still hold a large corner of the lucrative ED market with men who trust the brand name

Pretty silly stuff here, enjoy!

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it’s generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don’t send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Factors That Predict Relationship Endurance

Well, a study has been done to help determine what the common denominators are in relationships that do and do not last, and why they do or do not last.  And guess what?  One of them is actually not the frequency or quality of sex, although that is not what this study focused on, nor did it focus on love.  It mostly focused on random and external factors such as finances, smoking habits, kids, previous marriages and relationship experiences, and things like that.  So, although you know we’re big advocates of great sex at any age with your partner, that’s not really what came out of this study.

One of the factors that increased the likelihood that partners would divorce or separates was whether this was their second marriage or not.  If it was more than one for one partner, the likelihood of divorce was greater.  Also, the age of the male in the relationship seems to work in both ways.  If a guy is older by his spouse by nine years or more, relationships tend to fizzle more easily.  Conversely, if a guy marries before he turns 25 (which I personally think is too young for men, but that’s just my opinion, some men actually are emotionally mature enough to marry by that age), the relationship is less likely to end happily.

Another factor, believe it or not, was whether one partner smoked and the other did not.  Divorce and separation were more likely in marriages where one spouse was a cigarette smoker and the other was not.  I totally get this, because my parents fought tooth and nail about my mom’s smoking habit. My dad was never a smoker, and he couldn’t understand how my mom had the habit which he thought was dirty. Although there were tons of other reasons why that particular marriage went up in smoke (no pun intended), but they did end the marriage in divorce after almost twenty years of matrimony.

Finances are a factor, of course, which is something we all pretty much know already.  We’d like to believe that marriages built on a strong foundation of love are made to last and nothing can get in the way of that, but the sad truth is that finance burdens are one of the number one arguments and points of contention in households across the US.  Especially when the husband is unemployed, and the wife is working.  So, right now with economy the way it is, there has got to be long lines at the marriage counselor’s doors.

Mowing the Lawn Too Hard?

Mowing the lawn is one of those dreaded guy duties that we all kind of don’t look forward to on the weekends.  Sure, you get a free winter off of mowing if you live in a place like I do, Ohio, but if you live somewhere that the temperature is always mild and steady and the sun is always shining, you don’t even get the yearly winter break from it.  However, even though I may complain about mowing the lawn, I must admit that I don’t mind it at first, because it gets me outside and the push mowing portion gives me a good cardio workout that I can’t really get doing anything else since it’s such a unique motion.

But let’s face it guys, unless your girlfriend, parter or wife is helping you, mowing and edge trimming can become quite a drag.  Some of the ways you may be able to make it easier are as follows.  You can try maybe hiring it out every two weeks, or even once a month or just whenever you feel like you really need a break from the monotony of it.  You can find people who will do it for a reasonable price.  Heck,  if you have a college or high school student that lives by, they might do it for you for a pittance compared to the time and peace it’s going to save you.

If your back hurts, or your neck gets twisted a lot from mowing the lawn, try using a brace or back harness to ease the pressure of the weight of the mower and any twisting motions that you may have to do that don’t agree with your back or neck.  These can be found for a reasonable price at your local Home Depot I believe, or Lowes.  One thing you want to remember also is that you must hydrate.  Men’s bodies use up a lot of fluid when they’re exerted, and it’s important to replenish that fluid by drinking lots of water, or you can try an electrolyte infused drink like Gatorade as well to help you hydrate faster and more efficiently, just buy the kind that is low sugar.

Suck your belly in the whole time you’re mowing, this helps to protect the back while mowing, and keep your neck loose by doing periodic neck rolls.  Don’t worry about looking silly, it’s better than waking up stiff as a board the next morning, trust me!