I’ve often wondered, there is always something that every one of us thought would be “cool” to experience in the sack, and it seems to be different for all of us, sometimes dramatically so.  So, it got me thinking, how and where to sexual fantasies originate from?  Are they spontaneous, or are they carefully culled from one’s life experiences, their childhood crushes, or a combination of factors?

Well, most likely, they do come from a combination of experiences.  Perhaps once you saw a movie where a couple has a scintillating romp on the beach or in some other fairly public place, and thought that the aspect of questionable privacy and even a little voyeurism would add a lot of excitement to the sexual interlude.  Or maybe you had a crush on a woman when you were a kid who wore some specific kind of clothing, and now you want to have your partner dress up similarly. 

Another scenario could be that you had a crush on someone who was in a certain profession, say a childhood teacher, or a nurse or something, hence your sexual fantasies as an adult may be somewhat nostalgiac in their quest for some sort of memory or a feeling that goes back to those young carefree days when you were just exploring your first feelings of sexuality. 

Another thing that sexual fantasies may be born of is overcoming some sort of a fear you’ve had, like the having sex in a fairly public place thing.  

Lots of people have fantasies about that, or of meeting a perfect stranger out in a bar and then taking them back and having a torrid one night stand, but they know how dangerous that is in real life and in these times, so they might want their lover to pose as a stranger and they do the role play thing and act like they are strangers so they can act out this “naughty” fantasy safely and without cheating on anyone.  Sexual fantasies definitely run the gammut when it comes to individual personalites and the paradigms that shape our lives and our ideas.