There was an interesting column which I frequently read where people, men and women, will write in about their sexual problems with their partners, or if they are partner-less, they write in about their problems that have to do with sex in general.  Not only does this open up a whole new world of what sexual issues and frustrations other people deal with for me, but it also makes me realize that lots of “normal” couples and people experience the same things that I have experienced at one time or another so it’s a nice normalizing feeling to discover that you’re not the only one who may need natural libido help, or not be able to orgasm every time you have sexual relations. 

Speaking as a woman (guest writer here), I can say that I can identify with the woman in this one, who says that she feels like she is too busy and stressed out from her day’s work to have sexual intercourse with her husband, and that when he feels sexually aroused when he gets home from work and expects her to just give him sex to satisfy his penis.  Here’s where men and women can differ sometimes in their views on sex, and on their basic physiological differences when it comes to sexual needs and intimacy needs.

Women often put sex on the back burner, especially after they’ve had children, and in this case the couple had a 2 year old child together.  Not only that, there is scientifically documented evidence that woman’s libido goes down after having children, it’s just nature (I know, nature can be very cruel, right?)  It’s kind of like one of those last posts where we talked about nature making you extremely amorous when you’re ovulating, and making you more appealing to men when you are most likely to conceive, once you’ve conceived it’s like nature’s “done with you” in a way - they’ve already gotten a child outta ya! 

I thought this particular situation with a woman thinking her husband was being unfair was two fold.  First of all, women have to realize, men are biologically driven to seek out sex, they need to ejaculate on a regular basis, this has been shown to be true to help with stress and testosterone levels which lead to agression in men, and I’m not saying women don’t need it to, it’s just that we’re wired a little differently where we can go longer without it.  It may be our way of protecting ourselves from being pregnant 24/7, before the days of this awesome thing we call birth control today.

Women should be able to understand that, and if they feel like they are totally undersexed, then discuss the fact with their husbands, maybe take one of these fun new female sexual enhancement products, and maybe also take steps so that work isn’t eating up their lives and stressing them out so much - an automatic libido buster.  Also, there may be other things in the relationship that are creating the symptom of her low libido.  Perhaps resentment of some sort, a loss of attraction to her partner?  These issues should all be addressed too, as I believe many times when one partner loses interest in sex, it’s a symptom of bigger problems than just “being busy”.  That’s just my take. 

Guys should also be more patient, when a women says she’s not in the mood, don’t press the issue, but instead maybe try to get to the heart of the issue and be able to discuss openly their sexual needs and why they feel like they are being “shut out” in a sense.  Relationships go both ways, and men and women are definitely like Mars and Venus as the famous book claims, but if we can keep an open dialogue and our love for eachother keeps an open mind and an accomodating air about it, anything’s possible.