Monogamy has pretty much that same dictionary meaning anywhere you look such as “marriage to only one person at a time”, or “having only one sexual partner during a period of time”.  However, when you ask people individually what monogamy means to them, and how a violation of an agreeably monogomous relationship would be assessed, you get a bit of a different range of answers when it comes to what individuals consider monogamy, and what they also consider to be a violation of the inferred binding trust that monogamy entails. 

For example, to me personally, monogamy means that when you are someone’s sexual partner, and you have agreed you have entered into a monogomous relationship, then any sexual or intimate contact with another person is stricly off limits.  This means touching, fondling, kissing, dirty talk, and certainly oral sex and sexual intercourse. 

However, if you were to ask other couples, especially those that may be more open minded about what a monogomous relationship is and is not allowed to do for both partners, you may get a wide range of answers.  I was just reading an article about how some couples have laid down differennt rules for themselves and decided what lines they were allowed and were not allowed to cross when it came to having contact with anyone outside of their two person union.

Some people might be like me and say that any kissing, touching, and sexual contact is completely unacceptable.  Others might say that oral sex is acceptable while intercourse is strictly forbidden, or that both are acceptable as long as the person doesn’t feel emotionally attached to the person. 

Other crazy stipulations may be that they are allowed to kiss and flirt, but no other contact is allowed, and further contact with the person is not allowed after that one time contact, or that if one partner is away and out of state or the country, sex or other sexual contact is permitted, but when within state or country boundaries, it is not allowed.  I personally think this defeats the purpose of monogomy, and would hope my partner would agree with me, however, she may feel differently.

Chances are, if you’re matched well with a person to begin with, then these types of difference aren’t an issue.  If they are, it’s something you should probably get out on the table early on in the relationship of what your ideas of a relationship are and what your definition of monogomy is, to avoid disappointment and/or heartbreak.