We have talked about a supplement with deer antler velvet extract in it called Deer Antler Plus before, but I thought it was a good time to bring up this popular herbal product to help boost a man’s ability to have multiple orgasms again after all this talk about loss of libido!  First of all, I renewed my knowledge of the deer antler velvet extract’s legendary abilities when it comes to the male sex drive and ability to have great sex, since it has been used in traditional and Chinese herbal medicines for years and years for that reason.

Sometimes we don’t really know if something got it’s reputation for doing a certain thing through a sort of mythology or if there is actually any credence lended to it through at least anecdotal data, since herbal products are not subject to FDA approval, and many times there are not clinical tests performed on them.  That’s not saying much though, because in my honest opinion, the FDA lets a lot of pharmaceutical drugs go through their gates and be approved that many times were not thoroughly tested for long term effects, nor were they adequately confirmed safe for human consumption. 

That’s just me going on my anti pharmaceutical rant though, and trust me, I do believe that there have been some herbal and natural supplement offenders as well that are not good for long term use, but we do try to report those as we hear negative stories in the news as well. 

Deer antler velvet got it’s reputation for being a great male libido enhancement tool, and was hence used in the popular multi orgasm supplement called Deer Antler Plus (see review) because of it’s rejuvenating and energizing properties.  It also contains (naturally) trace minerals like zinc, which have been shown to help men sexually in more ways than one. 

It’s been used as an anti aging tool, to preserve the energy as well as to enhance mental sharpness and help with a man’s stregth and endurance.  Strength and endurance are directly linked to orgasmic abilities in men, because the longer a man can sexually perform, and the quicker he can recover, the more likely he is to have stronger and more powerful, mind bending orgasms. 

This is why deer antler supplements that are enhanced not only with the deer antler velvet, but also other natural energy enhancers and herbs that help with heightened sensitivity are very popular in this sexually driven world.  Because deer antler velvet has been used in Chinese medicine for hundreds if not thousands of years for multiple purposes, it can be safe to say that it has many medicinal qualities about it that have made it become a high demand additive and primary ingredient in many supplements today, even supplements for women as well. 

The deer antler is extracted from male deer in labs, and the deer are not supposed to be harmed in the process, and are let go once the velvety part of their antlers is removed as I understand it.  The velvet that comes once a year and then sheds again the next, is then usually ground into a fine powder where it can be made in capsulated supplements, tinctures, gels or what have you, for therapeutic purposes that are fairly wide ranging.  

There was an interesting column which I frequently read where people, men and women, will write in about their sexual problems with their partners, or if they are partner-less, they write in about their problems that have to do with sex in general.  Not only does this open up a whole new world of what sexual issues and frustrations other people deal with for me, but it also makes me realize that lots of “normal” couples and people experience the same things that I have experienced at one time or another so it’s a nice normalizing feeling to discover that you’re not the only one who may need natural libido help, or not be able to orgasm every time you have sexual relations. 

Speaking as a woman (guest writer here), I can say that I can identify with the woman in this one, who says that she feels like she is too busy and stressed out from her day’s work to have sexual intercourse with her husband, and that when he feels sexually aroused when he gets home from work and expects her to just give him sex to satisfy his penis.  Here’s where men and women can differ sometimes in their views on sex, and on their basic physiological differences when it comes to sexual needs and intimacy needs.

Women often put sex on the back burner, especially after they’ve had children, and in this case the couple had a 2 year old child together.  Not only that, there is scientifically documented evidence that woman’s libido goes down after having children, it’s just nature (I know, nature can be very cruel, right?)  It’s kind of like one of those last posts where we talked about nature making you extremely amorous when you’re ovulating, and making you more appealing to men when you are most likely to conceive, once you’ve conceived it’s like nature’s “done with you” in a way - they’ve already gotten a child outta ya! 

I thought this particular situation with a woman thinking her husband was being unfair was two fold.  First of all, women have to realize, men are biologically driven to seek out sex, they need to ejaculate on a regular basis, this has been shown to be true to help with stress and testosterone levels which lead to agression in men, and I’m not saying women don’t need it to, it’s just that we’re wired a little differently where we can go longer without it.  It may be our way of protecting ourselves from being pregnant 24/7, before the days of this awesome thing we call birth control today.

Women should be able to understand that, and if they feel like they are totally undersexed, then discuss the fact with their husbands, maybe take one of these fun new female sexual enhancement products, and maybe also take steps so that work isn’t eating up their lives and stressing them out so much - an automatic libido buster.  Also, there may be other things in the relationship that are creating the symptom of her low libido.  Perhaps resentment of some sort, a loss of attraction to her partner?  These issues should all be addressed too, as I believe many times when one partner loses interest in sex, it’s a symptom of bigger problems than just “being busy”.  That’s just my take. 

Guys should also be more patient, when a women says she’s not in the mood, don’t press the issue, but instead maybe try to get to the heart of the issue and be able to discuss openly their sexual needs and why they feel like they are being “shut out” in a sense.  Relationships go both ways, and men and women are definitely like Mars and Venus as the famous book claims, but if we can keep an open dialogue and our love for eachother keeps an open mind and an accomodating air about it, anything’s possible. 

The health condition that is known as persistent sexual arousal is not one that applies to only women or only men, but both.  In fact, a recent piece I read on the condition centered around a woman who constantly felt a “tingly sensation” in her nether regions, which made her feel as though she were constantly sexually aroused.  Sounds good, right? 

Except that feeling that way 24/7 is not something that anyone really wants, regardless of how sexualized we think our society has become, that’s still not an ideal way to go through life, and in fact it can cause deeper psychological issues as well as issues with your sexual partners, who may think that they can never satisfy you - because technically they never can, although it’s not their fault. 

The woman’s story that was detailed where I read about it said that she went to multiple doctors about her constant state of female sexual arousal, and was basically told that it was something mental and then she would be referred to talk to a therapist of some sort.  However, she was finally able to find a doctor that put a physical name to her condition, and explained to her that what she had was in fact a constant physiological state of sexual arousal that was causing the strong sensations in her sexual regions.

I’m not really sure what they can do medically for persistent sexual arousal, but I know for men they do have some sort of medications that help with someone who has constant erections, since in men it’s not only an alarming physical condition that can be emotionally damaging, but it’s also visible on a man and can be highly embarrassing, as most men know!  Like I said, being in a perpetual state of arousal may sound good - maybe for one day, but I could guarantee that after that day was up (no pun intended), you’d be ready to get back to your normal, flacid self! 

There was a very interesting study in the subtlety of human behavior and our basic, prehistoric instincts that haven’t changed much over thousands of years, even with the evolution of both men and women to adopt to today’s modern world, having to do with the detection of subtle differences in a woman’s voice when she is ovulating, which we all know, is when a woman is most likely to conceive, or when she is most fertile. 

This is just another one of nature’s ways to propagate a species, by making it nearly impossible to avoid the instinct to mate and produce offspring by making the opposite of sex more alluring during peak times of fertility, and to make the male of the species want to “spread his seed”, so to speak, and unwittingly more attuned to these increasingly subtle changes in a woman’s voice, body, smell and appearance during olvulation to make her more attractive in a visual, olfactory and oral sense. 

Much like the pheromones men use to attract women, this is part of the woman’s instinctual ways of attracting men when they are most ready to mate and have offspring, whether they know it or not. 

The scientists who began the small study wanted to find out if men had evolved to the point where they could still pick up on the subtle difference in a woman’s voice during this time, because they say that women have evolved to better conceal the times when they are ovulating, so men had evolved to be more keenly attuned to these times by developing a higher awareness to the subtle nuances. 

Men could still detect a difference, and they identified women’s voices who were ovulating as being “sexier”, although to the naked ear, the woman’s voices sounded pretty much the same as they did any other time.  Supposedly the hormonal changes that occur during the ovulation period of the menstrual cycle in women has an effect on the voicebox, however subtle that men can pick up on.  It’s just nature’s way of making us virtually powerless against the will not to spawn! 

Monogamy has pretty much that same dictionary meaning anywhere you look such as “marriage to only one person at a time”, or “having only one sexual partner during a period of time”.  However, when you ask people individually what monogamy means to them, and how a violation of an agreeably monogomous relationship would be assessed, you get a bit of a different range of answers when it comes to what individuals consider monogamy, and what they also consider to be a violation of the inferred binding trust that monogamy entails. 

For example, to me personally, monogamy means that when you are someone’s sexual partner, and you have agreed you have entered into a monogomous relationship, then any sexual or intimate contact with another person is stricly off limits.  This means touching, fondling, kissing, dirty talk, and certainly oral sex and sexual intercourse. 

However, if you were to ask other couples, especially those that may be more open minded about what a monogomous relationship is and is not allowed to do for both partners, you may get a wide range of answers.  I was just reading an article about how some couples have laid down differennt rules for themselves and decided what lines they were allowed and were not allowed to cross when it came to having contact with anyone outside of their two person union.

Some people might be like me and say that any kissing, touching, and sexual contact is completely unacceptable.  Others might say that oral sex is acceptable while intercourse is strictly forbidden, or that both are acceptable as long as the person doesn’t feel emotionally attached to the person. 

Other crazy stipulations may be that they are allowed to kiss and flirt, but no other contact is allowed, and further contact with the person is not allowed after that one time contact, or that if one partner is away and out of state or the country, sex or other sexual contact is permitted, but when within state or country boundaries, it is not allowed.  I personally think this defeats the purpose of monogomy, and would hope my partner would agree with me, however, she may feel differently.

Chances are, if you’re matched well with a person to begin with, then these types of difference aren’t an issue.  If they are, it’s something you should probably get out on the table early on in the relationship of what your ideas of a relationship are and what your definition of monogomy is, to avoid disappointment and/or heartbreak. 

This was an interesting article I read about how fitness experts are tending more toward totally different types of workouts for men and women, which vary based on the person’s sex, rather than totally relying on the typical workout factors like current weight, fitness level, and muscle mass at time of beginning a regimen, they will base the type of workout, length of sets and so forth, on a person’s sex.

This isn’t that far off from how it is now though.  Right now, men usually do vary the way they workout from women in the amount of weight they use in lifting and leg presses or other types of bench presses, and the key different that many men practice that is not usual for women is that they work on body parts.  So for example men will work on arms and lats one day and then the next they may work on their abs and quadriceps, while women can tend to bunch all their workout into one.

Women usually will combine cardio exercise with muscle fitness for all of their workouts, so they might start off with a half hour or so of cardio, and then move onto their legs doing presses or squats, then maybe work out their abs for a bit, and then their arms.  Men chop theirs up more, working and focusing on one body part at a time, because supposedly men’s muscles respond a little differently to muscle resistance. 

Also, levels of testosterone have a lot to do with the difference between men’s and women’s workouts, because testosterone allows men to lift a lot more weight at a time and bear that weight more evenly and effectively than a woman, so testosterone definitely plays a big part too in the differences between the sexe’s workouts. 

Boy, I smelled this one coming when the news broke that the girl who calls herself Ashley Alexander Dupre (what a horrible name by the way, her real name is better), was supposedly bargaining with the creator of Girls Gone Wild’s Joe Francis, or at least with his people, to make an appearance for them as an obvious boost for their business since her name has been flashed allover the news now for a while. 

Since things have died down for the call girl after news of her being the prostitute who former governor Elliot Spitzer had trysts with every so often, she may be seeing a huge decline in her offers and opportunities, so it makes perfect sense that she is now suing Girls Gone Wild for ten million dollars. 

What happened is they originally offered her one million dollars to use her likeness to promote the videos they are so well known for, but when they were going through old video, they hit the jackpot so to speak and found that Dupre, then seventeen years old back in 2003, had already been filmed by the film crew partially nude and had signed a release. 

So the million bucks was off the table.  Maybe they should have been smart and just given her the million since technically now she could get ten million if she proves her case that her release was not a valid or equitable one and that she didn’t know what she was doing when she signed the release.  I even remember reading Joe Francis said that he just “saved himself a million” bucks or something to that affect and thought, wow, Ms. Dupre’s not gonna like that one bit, so this lawsuit doesn’t really shock me, needless to say!   

It occurred to me recently after my partner had been away for a while, that absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder, or at least makes the libido stronger.  She was visiting relatives and the whole time she was away, sex was all I could think about.  I guess it’s that old saying that you don’t know what you got til it’s gone, or that you want what you can’t have, right?

It is true that when our partners are away for a while, we tend to get a little more randy when they’re gone, and certainly more so than when they are actually around the majority of the time, unless there is a large libido enhancer or natural sexual enhancement product at work, such as some specific seafood or a certain scent lit up, or maybe another type of food that is supposed to increase the sexual appetite. 

Experts in relationships say that being apart is actually healthy for a relationship, as long as it’s in healthy doses.  Say if you are away all of the time, it may foster feelings of resentment or distrust, but if you are attached at the hip all the time, naturally you will get tired of eachother, and guess what, your sex life would usually suffer too - go figure! 

I know for she and I, we both feel the same way when it comes to this theory on relationships, that too much togetherness can really be a bad thing, and that one must be allowed to have their own time to do their own thing so that not all sense of personal identity is lost, which fosters those negative feelings of being trapped.  Relationships aren’t easy, that’s for sure, but as long as we can do things in moderation, that’s when things go as smoothly as possible. 

I was just reading today about a new patch that women are supposed to affix to the inside of their wrist, which purports to make women feel more sexy and make them think about sex more often because it emits a scent that is supposed to olfactorily (is that even a word, I mean smell) stimulate one’s mind into thinking about sex and intimacy.  It’s around the size of a quarter by the looks of the picture of the patch it showed in the article, and it is said to combine a sort of lemon-y and floral type of scent, at least according to one user.

A sixty day supply of the Scentuelle patch is about thirty bucks, which doesn’t seem too bad, but I guess that really depends on whether the patch workd well as a female sexual enhancement and libido booster.  The woman who wrote about it and tried the product for a while said that she also got accompanying emails from the company reminding her to think about sex every day, and touch herself suggestively, such as running her fingers along her arm or other errogenous zone to help her feel more sexy, and to do other things that would increase her erotic feelings, such  as looking up online what other womens’ fantasies might be.

She did say that since she had the Scentuelle patch on, she felt more sexy and thought about sex more often, but wondered if it was just because of the emails and not the patch, which she actually said sort of gave her a headache at first.  It’s difficult to say sometimes whether sexual enhancement products for men and women work well alone, or if it’s also the idea behind them that stimulates the user to think of sex more often, as a psychosomatic symptom almost. 

Women are said to like scents such as certain floral scents as well as sweet smells that you may find in a kitchen, and men are actually attracted to the same types of things, with women being most turned off by scents such as barbeque and even heavy men’s cologne.  I could see this, except I do think it probably depends on what type fo cologne it is, because there are some that some female friends tells me makes them into a raging sex maniac. 

If we’re lucky enough in our lifetime, we’ve both heard and said the L word to partners and family members many times by the time we die.  I’m talking about the word Love, and what it means to sexual and intimate relationships.  It seems that when we are in a committed relationship it would be wonderful to hear those three little words “I love you” all the time, just as a reassurance that our partners do indeed still love us.  But is there a point where we can take it too far and actually push someone away by proclaiming our love for eachother on too frequent a basis?  Yes, absolutely.

We’ve all heard the cliche of a partner who is a bit too clingy and feels the need to constantly voice our love for the other, and indeed there is usually, statistically, one partner who is a little more needy than another - that’s how relationships usually work, one is usually able to give emotionally a bit more than the other, and this creates a balance. 

However, when one partner is constantly either saying or demanding that you say you love them, it can get old really fast, and instead of fostering a nuturing relationship based on emotional trust, can quickly turn one against the other and even create feelings of hostility and resentment toward a partner who is demanding this emotional output 24/7.

There’s always got to be a balance though, and if you approach a partner who seems overly amorous all the time and is constantly either voicing their love or making you do it or making you feel guilty for not voicing it enough, you should really sit down and talk to them about it, and get to the heart of why this is so important to them and that it makes you feel overly pressured and pushes you away.  After all, there’s nothing wrong with saying I love you, but doing it too often almost diminishes its meaning and often times can create a feeling of burden in a relationship on one partner.