Why Hotel Sex is the Best!

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First of all, think of what the first three letters spell in the word “hotel”.  You’ve got HOT. So it’s no wonder that sex in these modern day overnight temporary living quarters have earned a reputation of sorts for men and women who are looking to spice up their sex life a bit.

I can’t tell you how many married friends of mine get excited to just spend a few nights in a hotel with their spouse so that they can have that wilder, more uninhibited sex that they may not be able to have as much at their homestead. Not that sex at home isn’t also awesome. Of course it is.

However, at a hotel you just don’t have the same constant distractions that you have at home. Especially if you have kids. Of course, this depends on whether this happens to be a kids-free hotel stay or not  as well.  If it is, then you have instant adult time where there is a 100% guarantee that no one will hear you (except the neighbors which are strangers anyway).

You’re also guaranteed that no one will walk in on you, interrupt you, or judge you.  Plus, you don’t have all those other things clouding your mind so you can focus on sex and your partner.  Women don’t need to be thinking about the loads of laundry waiting in the other room, or the dishes that need to be done or any of the other number of chores that make home sex a constant struggle to stay on topic.

Also, you don’t feel like you really have to be neat. There may be a tendency to always have sex on the bed in your home, or with a sheet covering the nicer bedspread. At a hotel, you know that the linens get washed every time in between visitors, so you can really just be messy and sexy without worrying too much about “cleaning up” after yourselves.

Often times, hotels will have different types of furniture, like a bench or a chair, so you can even move to other furniture to spice it up a little more, try some different positions on these different pieces of furniture, and just experiment a bit like you did when you first met eachother and can barely wait to rip eachothers clothes off.

Hotels also offer a change of atmosphere. There’s usually an element of excitement and mystery.  You also have a bar at your disposal at most hotels, so you can go down, have a drink or two, get a little tipsy and neither of you needs to worry about driving home.

It’s really a load off when neither of you has to worry about these seemingly banal although admittedly important issues for safety and good citizenship.  So, take your honey to a hotel. Even if it’s just the next town over, pretend like it’s somewhere far away, where the dishes, chores and duties of your everyday life seem miles away…

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Male Anorexia : More Common Than You Think?

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Anorexia is a disease that involves a disproportionate view of the body where a person thinks they are always overweight, when in fact they are drastically underweight by all measures. They often will starve themselves, deprive themselves of anything that adds weight to their body, even water, and sometimes it can even be combined with the other most common eating disorder, bulimia.

The disease anorexia is indeed a very serious one. It’s not just a matter of being too thin, but when someone has this disease they actually starve their bodies of important nutrients, electrolytes and the very basis of nutrition that keeps them alive and sustained.  Often times anorexia in its most extreme form can cause permanent heart and other organ damage, and it can also cause severe dysfunction of the brain chemistry as well as the basic operations of the body and organs.

Your body needs nutrition to survive and thrive and operate on a daily basis, and when it is starved of its most basic fuel, it goes into a mode of conservation and minimal output, so a person who is starving themselves can often be seriously amiss in basic functions that we take for granted.

Anorexia is most commonly associated as a female problem. Although it it probably still more common in females, men can suffer from the disease as well. Men just might be a little better able to hide the disease than women because of the clothes they wear, and because men generally are not paid as much attention to when it comes to their eating habits.

The causes behind anorexia in both sexes is usually the same. Often times this and other eating disorders are all a desperate attempt at taking control and keeping a perfect view of their bodies because they need to have total control over everything in their lives, and they often times have a perfectionism streak.

I know this because I myself went through a struggle with an eating disorder, and the recovery was neither easy nor fun. I learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned that when my disorder started back when I was in my early teens, it was likely in response to some serious turmoil that was going on around me in my household.

I think that this turmoil amounted to me really feeling a need to have control over SOMETHING in my life since i felt that the rest of it was simply spinning out of my realm of control.

Because eating and being thin was a sign of acceptance for me and a sign of beauty, I thought that this would overcome the other feelings of inadequacy and fear I was feeling in my life, and so gradually my eating disorder progressed until it because bigger than me and then consumed the way I lived my life and socialized with others.

Men can get these same disorders as women, it’s just not a “stereotypical” male disorder, so it is often overlooked. If you know a man who you think might be struggling with anorexia, it’s important to know the signs and see if you can help him in any way. After all, anorexia is a very lonely disease.

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Is This Relationship Reality? Just Watched “The Five Year Engagement”

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Hey guys, Jill here again.  I just got done watching the romantic comedy called The Five Year Engagement with Emily Blunt and Jason Segel. Both of these people are terrific actors, so I was really looking forward to watching this one, which had been sitting on my DVR for weeks just waiting for me to have a few spare hours.

Today was the day, what with my lack of ambition to do the things I actually should have been doing.  So I watched the movie at lunch time, all two hours and twenty minutes of it with breaks in between. All in all, it wasn’t that great of a movie. It had some funny parts, but many of the jokes seemed somehow forced, and the scenes seemed a bit too contrived to be the laugh out loud kind of funny that makes me really appreciate a movie.

Jason Segel is hilarious, and he plays the same wayward type this time.  What really struck me about the movie though wasn’t really how it was or wasn’t funn, but about how it did sort of nail some relationship realities on the head in my opinion. Even though some of those realities are a bit dismal to think about, and certainly don’t mesh with your typical rom-com happy Hollywood ending, they are nevertheless a universal truth about how we imperfect humans interact with eachother romantically.

The movie is about a couple who plan to get married, but through an out of town dream job offer and a series of other circumstances that show that relationships really do have to be about compromise, the couple finds themselves drifting apart, and pushing their wedding back further and further as circumstances begin to intervene.

Although this certainly doesn’t sound like a Hollywood fairytale romance, it nonetheless struck a cord with my “real” side. Sure, we all want to think that relationships should be easy and that we should be fawning and obsessing over our romantic partners 24/7 such as is shown in ridiculously over the top romance stories like Twilight and the like.

But that’s just not reality. We all need to fulfill our own sense of destiny and our own needs before we can be happy with someone else, and the fact is that some of those dreams get derailed or at least sidetracked when we fall in love with Mr. or Mrs. Right.

While the movie had a sort of sugar coated ending after some infidelity on both their parts, I liked the fact that it did present some of the more real aspects of relationships, especially in the modern day of women’s liberation and the different ideals we are presented with today.

It also resonated with me that sometimes what we think will make us “happy” really doesn’t. For example, I may think a perfect career would really frost my cake, but would it really do that if I didn’t have the man I love, my husband, by my side? It simply wouldn’t mean as much without the romantic aspect of my life being empty. And that my friend, is pure reality.

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Confidence is BIG for Guys Ladies

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Hey guys, David here offering a thought that I’ve had about writing something for a while.  It’s something that I realized played a big role when I picked my wife and partner of many years, and it’s something that  I think most men notice more than they’d like to admit when picking a partner.

Not incidentally, this trait is something that is typically thought of as a trait that WOMEN look for in MEN when choosing sexual and life partners, but I’m here to tell you that men look for it in women just as much as women do in men and why men just may not realize that they really want this in a woman.

I’m talking about confidence.  You know how women often describe their ideal mate  as “confident but not cocky”.  Well, men look for this same trait in women, I just think the trait gets lost in translation a little because of how confidence is viewed between the sexes.

For example, something that I remarked on and noticed about my wife when I met her was how flawlessly she integrated herself into my circle of friends. She wasn’t afraid to mingle with them, and she had stuff to say that sounded intelligent without being overly opinionated or obnoxious.

Because she was also a kind person, she got along with everyone, but she was also notable confident compared to so many of the other “girls” I had dated up to that point in my life. She was a woman, whereas all the other ladies I’d dated seemed underdeveloped of immature in some way because they didn’t display this same level of self confidence.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s another reason men look for confidence in women. It has everything to do with sex. When a woman displays confidence outside the bedroom, there’s a pretty good chance that she’s also very capable IN the bedroom. I think this is the underlying assumption men make when they meet the confident woman, and this can be a real turn-on for guys.

Likewise for women, since men who are confident outside the bedroom also often display a prowess when the lights are out and sexual performance is on the stage.

Most of all, what most people want in a life partner is someone who has an opinion, who has a backbone and who has intelligence and the confidence to voice that intelligence, but also the confidence to think that others are interested in who they are or in getting to know them.

That is one of the sexiest things of all to BOTH sexes, and it’s a sure way to attract a boatload of men and dates in my opinion. Also be confident that if a guy doesn’t act interested even when you’re being your real and confident self, then he’s just not for you.

Having the confidence to walk away from a relationship where you know the guy isn’t into you for the right reasons is another surefire way to boost and cement your confidence in who you are and that just makes you even sexier!

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Cohabitating Part Time Better for Your Relationship?

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If you’re in a relationship where you and your partner cohabitate (the fancy word for living together) less than full time and you find definite benefits for your relationship because of it, I want to hear from you!  That’s because there is now a study that shows that living together part time has huge benefits when it comes to relationships.

In fact, they say that the research reveals that relationships that are somewhat long distance may even be stronger than relationships where the couple lives together 24/7.  I can say that my husband and I definitely enjoy eachother’s company, but when we’re apart for a day or two the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” idea definitely holds true for us.

It’s true that people need their own space and that being apart form your loved one is actually healthy, but I think there is a delicate balance between being apart too much and being together too much. Take a look at all these Hollywood couples who say that their scheduled kept them apart too much and cite that as a reason for a breakup.

I hate the excuse. You know why? Because it’s all a load of bull. If my husband moved away for a job, guess what, we’d find a way to make it work because he’s more important to me than a silly career. We would find a common ground and make it work, or I’d move with him right away.

So the scheduled keeping people apart excuse really does fall flat with me. I think that’s an excuse for people who aren’t willing to work at a relationship or who really weren’t all that invested in the person in the first place (or let’s face it in Hollywood, they’ve probably lost interest because Hollywood is chock full of narcissists).

The interesting findings of this new study included the fact that couples who have part time long distance relationships tended to feel closer and more intimate to their partner than those who lived together full time and without interruption.

They felt that their conversations were of a more intimate and meaningful nature, and they felt that their partner was  more responsive to them than people who answered the questions who were in full time cohabitation mode.

Another good point is that the commications didn’t involve as much of the mundane details that a cohabitating couple would have like taking out the trash or cooking dinner.  This makes it feel like the romance and excitement is still alive, and tends to add an element of newness to the relationship as well since these are the same things that make couples feel closer when they travel to foreign locations.

It does make sense. The problem though is that sometimes these feelings can fade when the couple is actually back in a living together situation, and the “honeymoon phase” feeling can wear off, leaving partners feeling disillusioned with eachother. But, that’s why relationships aren’t for the immature, they require a little work and a little compromise from both ends – another reason why relationships don’t work for narcissists.

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Three Things That Can Lower Your Sperm Count

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There are several lifestyle habits that can actually affect the amount of viable sperm your testes put forth into your body.  This can dramatically affect your chances of getting your wife of girlfriend pregnant. I know, some of you may jump for joy at the thought of a built in form of birth control (but it of course isn’t foolproof).

Having a low sperm count can really be a serious matter for a couple who is trying to conceive.  If you’re not well then it really doesn’t affect much in your life except your fertility, and if that matters to you then you’re going to want to avoid the things I’m listing below for as long as you can.

1.)  Avoid wearing your pants too tight. Yes, it really is true. Those “ball hugger” pants and underwear that are a signature joke of movies and standup really do affect your fertility. That’s because heat is the enemy of sperm. When your testicles get too overheated, the heat kills off the sperm inside, leaving the level depleted and in need of rapid regeneration, which your body can only do so quickly, as it was genetically coded to do.

2.)  Avoid sauna visits. We actually have an infrared sauna in our home, which I love especially in the winter since our winters are long here without much reprieve from the cold and darkness that covers the sky early in the day.  However, what I didn’t know is that if I were trying to conceive with my wife, frequent sauna visits could be a serious problem for me.

Recent research shows that sauna visits heat the scrotum too much, causing sperm to die off and seriously impacting sperm count.  However the damage is not permanent, and normal sperm production resumes once the said heat source is taken away.  If you visit your sauna every day though, of course this can be a habitual problem and your sperm count will suffer every day as a result.

3.)  Heated car seats. Yeah it sounds ridiculous, but anything that heats the general area will cause the sperm to die off quickly. The whole reason your body was designed that way is so that they can hang down low away from the body which produces heat and this is the body’s (and evolution’s) way of furthering the human race by keeping as much reproductive sperm alive as possible.

Anything you do to compromise this natural “cooling” mechanism can really put a wrench in things and can make your fertility dramatically lower – at least in the  short term.

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Propecia’s Unintended Side Effects?

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Millions of men have taken the hair loss drug Propecia over the decades since it has been introduced. I remember back when it was new and everyone talked about it like it was a wonder drug for men who were losing their hair to male pattern baldness and other conditions that cause them to lose their hair or for their hair to become overly thin.

Most men at least experience thinning hair as they age, but the more upsetting condition is male pattern baldness, where men start to lose their hair at the front of the head, or in the middle of the head, making for bald spots.  This is why hair loss products are so popular. Read more about some we’ve talked about here.

Propecia is a drug that is taken orally. Its purpose is to inhibit the circulation and production of DHT, which is a derivative hormone of testosterone.  DHT has an effect on the follicles that causes hair to stop growing, and is therefore a main reason behind many male baldness cases.

Because it stops this hormone from being produced, it has other unintended consequences, most notably it may reduce men’s sex drive and may also increase the incidence of ED in some men as well.  This is likely linked to its effect on the testosterone levels, which may have other unforseen effects.

In addition, it was recently found that men on the drug also experienced another side effect that may be a GOOD thing.  Many men reported a reduction in their alcohol consumption.  Researchers think that this unintended side effect may be due to Propecia’s effect on neurosteroids, which are likely the cause of creating a desire to drink alcohol and perhaps even other behaviors linked to addiction.

Men who reported less drinking reported that they would drink and feel worse for the wear faster, meaning they likely had less tolerance for the bottle.  This is probably what led to a lower desire to drink alcohol.  Men also reported a slower sobering period than normal, which likely interferes with the desire to drink as well.

Let’s face it, when we were all young bucks and could recover after a hard night of drinking within hours, it sure did make drinking a lot more fun!  Now that I’m older and have a naturally lower tolerance for drinking, I certainly don’t feel the desire to imbibe as much!

Here’s the not so bright part about side effects of the drug. Some men experience sexual side effects that stay beyond the time they are on the drug, suggesting that the drug’s effects on testosterone levels and sexual desire may not go away as the drug is stopped.

Some men also report feeling depressed while on the drug, but this may even be in part due to any sexual side effects they have experienced on the drug.  It’s all a vicious circle!

 

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Menopause and Men’s Preference for Younger Sex Partners

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Hey guys, this is Jill here and I have to say that reading this informative piece about female menopause and how it may be linked to men’s natural preference for younger female (or male, depending on your sexual preference) sex partners kind of made my stomach turn a bit. It’s basically a cliche that men always want a “younger model”.

And how many times have we seen this kind of story play out in the land of the rich and famous? Philandering husband goes out on his wife who’s about his age and gets with a much younger woman. Or famous older guy marries successively younger women (or just dates them all the time as is the case of so many of the dashing Hollywood bachelors like George Clooney).

Then you have the politician scandals where men cheat on their wives who have stood by them since before their political careers took off, only to be going off with some younger women.

It’s one of those cliches that I must say really disheartens me as a woman. I know my husband loves me, but sometimes I do feel a little bit threatened by the younger girls prancing around in their tight clothes and youthful skin and taut bodies.  I know that men are always drawn to this type of thing. But you know what? So are some women!

There are an increasing amount of older women who are taking on younger lovers as well, so at least the playing field has been a bit evened.

The article I read has a very interesting hypothesis about why women go into menopause as they age.  The theory is that women should always be fertile, so why do they go into a state where they can no longer have children once they reach their fifties or sixties?  Nature is built to always want men and women to procreate and keep the lineage going, so why would nature program women to stop being able to reproduce at a certain age?

Well, this researcher’s theory is that since men prefer younger sex partners, nature programmed women who get older to go through menopause! So, is this slightly misogynistic theory really true? I must say that it rubbed me the wrong way, but hey it does sort of make sense.  But how would nature really be able to know the preference of men that way?

Menopause is here to stay there’s not doubt about that, but women are going through it later and later thanks to longer life spans.  In the end, the truth is, maybe women just are finally given a break after all those years of having to worry about birth control and periods and wild hormonal swings (of course AFTER menopause though, we experience many of those things DURING, God knows that!)

I’d like to go with that theory. It sits a lot better with me and probably with a lot of other women :)

 

 

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Sex in the Morning – Thoughts?

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You’ve undoubtedly heard the term “morning wood” before, which is the affectionate if not slightly sophomoric humor way of talking about a morning erection. Often times though, these morning erections are involuntary for the most part, because the guy has to pee really bad.  You’ve definitely experienced this if you’re a guy, so you know exactly what I’m talking about.

But an erection is an erection, and hey, why not put it to good use, especially when your lady is laying right next to you in a likely half-dressed state still from the night before, right?

That’s what I wanted to talk about today, because I personally am not a fan of morning time sex, but I know lots of dudes are.  Some guys can wake up ready to go, or become sexually aroused at the drop of a hat, but it’s never been that way for me.

Oh and did I mention I’m not a morning person at all?! It’s my crankiest, most foggy time of the day. I’m not a person who can wake up and bounce out of bed in a terrific mood. It takes me a lot of time to adjust to the new day dawning, that’s for sure.

Morning sex involves a lot of things that aren’t all that savory too. Morning breath and morning hair or “helmet head” for one thing aren’t the sexiest things in the world.  Also, it’s wake up time and who wants to put forth their best sexy effort when they’re just orienting themselves to what is ahead for the day?

On the plus side, you do have no food in your belly in the morning and tend to way the least in the morning, which can make you feel a little sexier (at least for the ladies, I’m sure that it’s for the men too, I know it is for me).

The other benefit of morning sex is that it sets your relationship on an agreeable path for the day. Being intimate with one another first thing in your day is a great way to say “I want to feel close to you” and I want to please you. Guarantee the day of morning sex will be filled with more harmonious cohabitation if you live together!

Women release oxytocin when they have sex, so it may be an even greater relationship benefit for a woman since it helps them feel a stronger bond to their partner which may last throughout the day. When one partner is happy, the other is inevitably happy as well through sheer proxy.

Morning sex – what do you think of it? Is it for you? Can you get over the stigmas that you’ve had in your mind about having sex in the morning like I cannot?  And what do you think of “afternoon delight” sex? I personally love it!  It’s great to get it in before dinner time, when you’re still alert, don’t have a belly stuffed with food, and can still enjoy the rest of your day feeling closer to your main squeeze!  That’s my “non-night” sex routine!

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Another Man Sues for Penile Implant Gone Bad

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After hearing so many horrifying news stories about penile implants gone wrong and horribly awry, I don’t know why any man in his right mind would put his penis and his family jewels through all of that simply to either get a bigger penis or to get it operating better.

What are the reasons that men typically get penile implants anyway? Well, usually it is simply to make the penis larger or longer.  Sometimes it is used as a means to get the penis working correctly again since some of them can contain devices that actually help a man to get and maintain an erection.

With the seemingly high rate of bad outcomes, less men may be going for these types of procedures. We’ve heard too many stories about men with weeks or even months-long erections that are painful and embarrassing, men who have had their penises somehow maimed in procedures, or men who have had their equipment completely screwed up, never to work properly again by these types of procedures.

In fact, I’m starting to wonder if any of them have good outcomes, so if you have a good and positive story to share about penis surgery then please do share it here. I am open minded and know that we are more likely to hear the horror stories than we are about the good outcomes and the penile implant surgeries that actually work permanently.

The latest story is one about a family man who had a penile implant that left him with extremely swollen testicles and an erection that lasted some 8 months.  The device worked by inflating the penis up and giving the man an erection. It is not clear if he got the surgery in order to get a larger penis or if he got the surgery to correct some sort of erectile dysfunction.

The surgery resulted not only in extreme swelling and a permanent erection for several months, but some of the tubing for the device eventually punctured his scrotum, requiring him to get the whole device removed. He says he now has a penis that is much smaller and has suffered mental trauma because of the whole ordeal (of course, who wouldn’t).

The Doctor who performed the surgery has claimed that the patient was told the thing needed to be removed but the patient didn’t do anything about it and that is why the problem got worse, but the patient claims he did not have all the cash the doctor wanted to correct the surgery.

Who knows who is in the wrong here. I think the lesson of the story is just don’t mess with surgery when it comes to something that can be so irreversible and have such an impact on a big part of what makes you feel like a man.

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